“We’ll get you there,” Nate says. “I promise.”The way he says it makes me want to lean into him, just like I used to when we went on field trips in high school.
But I don’t. I settle for a smile.
“Thank you,” I say.
Nate’s eyes flick to my mouth and then down to my shoulder where we’re touching.I remember how much he must hate this.Ignoring the feeling in my gut, I get a few centimeters away from him.
“At least the flight’s short,” I offer. “Then we’re in the middle of the ocean. It’s mydream.”
“It’s gonna be fine.”
“You and I have very different definitions of fine.”
“Massages are included. Along with the sauna. And all the drinks you could want.”
“Now you’re talking,” I reply.
Satisfied, Nate pulls out his Kindle and reads while I double-check the itinerary for the cruise.
We have four stops over the seven days—one in Cozumel, Mexico and three in the Caribbean. I hadn’t looked at much of anything, content to survive on the boat without letting Rob see that I hate the water.
Along with all the activities on the islands, Mom had taken the liberty to highlight the things I would enjoy on the boat too. Even though I lied to her, she still made sure I would know about all the non-water stuff available. And it’s more than I expected.
It’s overwhelming to look at it all. I had a handle on this trip with Rob and a light schedule figured out, but Nate being here throws a wrench in everything I’d planned. I know what he likes, thankfully, and I can easily make educated guesses, but the last few days haven’t been the most restful and my eyes feel heavy as I look at everything.
Even though I’ve only been sitting around, dealing with everything has been exhausting. I’ve done my best, but the weight of it all and the lost sleep in favor of crying over my blown-up life makes me want to doze right off.
I lie back, closing my eyes for a second.
“Tired?” Nate asks lowly.
“Just resting my eyes.” I won’t say it, but it’s all I can do. I don’t have a neck pillow, and I can’t rest my head on the stranger beside me.
And I definitely won’t on Nate. His other leg, the one not pressed to me, hasn’t stilled since we sat. I doubt it will for the whole flight.
I won’t fall asleep. I’ll just keep my eyes closed andcling to consciousness. I keep telling myself that, even as time goes murky and I feel my head grow heavy.Eventually, my head falls on something warm, and I can’t remember why I didn’t want this to happen.
As consciousness leaves me, I hear a sigh. “I knew you weren’t fine, berry. How much have you been sleeping?”
And I’m gone.
chapter five
“Maisie.Come on. Time to wake up.” I’m being poked at and I groan. I could use a few more hours of sleep. I cling tighter to my pillow. Somehow, it hardens. “Uh, berry.” There’s a tight voice. “You’ve gotta ... I mean, please get up.”
That’s enough to jerk me awake. I pull my head off of Nate’s shoulder, absolutely mortified that I’d let myself sleep on him.
“Oh my God. I’mso?—”
“Bathroom. I mean . . . I need to go.” And then he’s gone.
My cheeks burn in shame. I’ve only barely realized that he has an aversion to touch, and then I go and immediately ruin it?
What’s worse is that Ilikedit. I already wish I’d been awake for my time on his shoulder, and I hate the way I feel empty now that he’s gone.
“Cagey, that one,” a gruff voice says. I turn to see the old man watching where Nate has run off to.
“He doesn’t like certain things. It’s fine.” I shrug. If I say it out loud, maybe it will be.
