Wasted money was one of the things Rob had been furious about, according to Nate.
I feel terrible. And that feeling has only gotten worse. Normally, it would be enough for me to bend to Rob’s will, but this time, I’m not. I feel terribleandI’m continuing. The guilt is eating me alive, but I’m turning away from it.
That’s not something I do. But I will for Nate.
“We didn’t lose anything, dear. That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.”
“You paid for the honeymoon, which isn’t happening now.”
Mom and Dad glance at each other and then at me. “It still can,” she says. She pulls out a pamphlet for the cruise. I resist the urge to groan. That whole decision was made for Rob’s benefit. Looking back on it now, I was setting myself up for misery from the get-go.
“Mom, I?—”
“You’ve had a rough go of it. But you need something to pick you up. I know you have a ... complicated past with swimming,but there are plenty of other things you can do to care for yourself.”
Complicated pastis an understatement. When I was five, I fell into a pool when Mom’s back was turned and she didn’t see me struggling. By the time the lifeguard pulled me out, the damage was done. I was told it was only a few seconds. To me, it felt like a lifetime.
My young brain latched onto that moment and told me that water is unsafe. I’ve always followed that belief, avoiding water and everything to do with it.
The honeymoon was an exception. ForRob.
But Mom seems so hopeful, and I know I can’t let this money go to waste, even if there’s no way I can go.
Taking the pamphlet, I try to think of a plan for how the cruise can get used so I can stay at home and rot.
Mom and Dad are none the wiser.
“Thank you,” I say.
“Just update the names when you know who’s going. You can take Quinn.”
“She’s got her birthday party to plan for.” I shake my head. “No way.”
She hasn’t even had time to see me. Apparently, Andrea has been on a warpath with the canceled wedding. I know she’s taking some of the brunt of it along with Nate. I owe her far too much.
There’s a part of me that hates that I hide out when things get bad, but I know if I face any of this, I’ll take it back. And I refuse to do that this time.
“Or you could take your other best friend who loves swimming,” Mom adds.
I nod absentmindedly. Nate does love swimming, and he’s free since school isn’t in session.
A plan forms in my mind. One where Nate can get the best thank-you I can muster.
“I’ll figure it out,” I say with a smile. “Thank youguys again.”
Mom hugs me and squeezes me tight. Dad gives me one of his trademark nods. Something in my chest loosens. At least they’re not mad at me.
They would be two of the few.
“Maisie,”a voice calls from the doorway. “Are you still in despair?”
“A little, but at least there’s food!” I call from the kitchen where I’m watching the microwave. I knew when Nate was on his way back from the wedding venue, and I started it so it would be ready when he walked through the door.
“You’re cooking?”
“Kind of. My parents brought something for us.”
“Yes,” he hisses with a smile before he looks me over. “It’s nice to see you up and moving.”
