“Still wanna see the beach?” Nate asks.
“I think I saw something about a staircase that people tend to flock to. It’s historical or something. Can we see that first before we go to the water?”
“Ofcourse.”
We wander the shops and find the staircase I mentioned, but it doesn’t take long to check out those and the adjacent waterfall before moving on to the next thing. Eventually, my fear from the dock has entirely faded and I’m willing to be near water again.
I’m already feeling overheated as we find public beach access and rent an umbrella. I can see why people are so gung-ho about getting in the water when the weather is so warm.
As I gaze out to an endless sky with picturesque blue water underneath it, I understand how this is relaxing for some people. I still can’t deny the bubble of nervousness it gives me, though. Falling off the dock set me back quite a bit. I can still feel the salt stinging my eyes and burning my nose.
Nate is watching me closely, and I can tell he’s about to ask if I’m okay.
“I’m adjusting,” I say. “But I’ll be okay, I promise.”
“One mention of the safe word and we’ll go back to the boat.”
After one more deep inhale to steel myself, I say, “Let’s do this.”
We make it to where the edge of the water is. It’s calm today, but there’s a gentle push and pull of the water I’m not expecting. My throat closes up and I forget about anything else.
“Take your time.”
“I wanna get in there eventually.”
“If you just get your feet in, that’s a win. Don’t put so many expectations on yourself, berry.”
My life would be so much easier if I could shove all of my fears into a box to get over them. It would make life infinitely easier.
But my fear is here. It tells me this is dangerous, that I should run and hide.
The water rushes at us and I nearly topple over. Nate catches me.
“Still good?”
“Not good, but okay. Could you distract me again?”
“Did I ever tell you that I think one of the teachers has a crush on me?”
“What? No, you didn’t.” My voice is high, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the water or if it’s because I want to go stake out the school he works at the second they reopen for the year. Nate works with a lot of women who are our age. Before I realized my own feelings for him, I always thought he would end up with someone from work.
“She’s been hinting at it for a while,” he says. “She’s always coming by the gym with some excuse and she wants me to do all of her heavy lifting. It’s flattering, really.”
“I bet it is.” I try to say it lightly, but it comes out all wrong. “Have you heard from her over the summer?”
“No, she’s not one for phones. She’s a face-to-face kind of gal.”
“Oh. Do you ... like that?”
“Sometimes, but you know there’s one big thing I didn’t mention about her.”
“She’s super hot?”
“She’s seventy, berry.”
“Nate!”I can’t help the guffaw that escapes me. “You had me thinking the worst!”
“The worst? Is a woman liking me the worst?”
