Just William. The screwup. The addict. The one who nearly died on his brother's watch. The one who can't stay sober. The one who—
Another text:“We need you to pull yourself together. People are looking to you now.”
People are looking to me. Jesus Christ. What a fucking disaster.
I should text back. Should say something. But my fingers won't work right, and the words won't come, and all I can think about is how much I want another drink.
The whiskey bottle is still within reach. I grab it, but before I can drink, the door opens.
Aidan.
"Get out," I say without looking at him.
"No." He closes the door behind him and crosses his arms. Aidan's always been the responsible one. The one who keeps his shit together. The one Father actually respected.
And Alex passed him over. Gave the crown to me instead.
"I said get out, Aidan." I turn to face him, and he doesn't even flinch at whatever he sees in my face. Probably looks like death. Feels like it, too.
"The O'Rourkes called. Dillon wants to meet. He's bringing his daughter."
Aoife. The woman I'm supposed to marry. The political alliance that's supposed to save us all.
"Tell him I'm busy."
"Busy drinking yourself to death?" Aidan's voice is flat.
"Tell him to fuck off. Tell him to find another Murphy to marry his daughter to. Tell him…"
"There is no other Murphy!" Aidan's control snaps, and he slams his hand against the wall. "Alex is gone. Jason's been exiled. Matty can't lead…he's too…" He stops himself.
"Too what?" I challenge. "Too fucked up? Too broken? Because newsflash, brother, we're all fucked up and broken. This entire family is a goddamn tragedy."
"Then step up and be less of one." Aidan's brown eyes bore into mine. "I know you're hurting. I know finding Father destroyed you. I know Alex's confession…"
"Don't." The word comes out sharp. "Don't talk about what Alex did."
Because if I start talking about it, I'll never stop. I'll talk about how I blamed myself for not getting there sooner, how I wondered if Father changed his mind at the last second, if he clawed at the rope, if he screamed, how I've carried that guilt like a stone in my chest for months.
And it was all a lie.
Father didn't kill himself. He was murdered. By my brother. And I never fucking knew.
"The O'Rourkes will be here in 24 hours," Aidan says quietly. "Get yourself cleaned up. You need to eat something. At least pretend you have your shit together."
"Why?" I take another drink. "We both know I don't."
Aidan walks over and takes the bottle from my hand. I let him. I'm too tired to fight.
"Because you're all we have left," he says. "And whether you believe it or not, you're exactly what this family needs right now."
I laugh again, that same unhinged sound. "What we need is Alex. Or you. Anyone but me."
"Alex left. I'm not the one getting married. It has to be you, William." Aidan sets the bottle on the desk, far from my reach. "Father made you into this, the wild one, the screwup, the one with nothing to lose. But that's exactly why you're the right choice. You don't care about the rules. You'll do whatever it takes."
"Like Alex did?" The words taste bitter.
Aidan's jaw tightens. "Yes. Like Alex did. He killed Father to save Jason. That's what being a leader means, making the impossible choice."
