We stay like that for several heartbeats, both of us breathing hard, her forehead pressed to mine, sweating skin to skin.
“I love you,” she whispers, and the words still hit me like a punch to the gut.
“I fucking love you too,” I say. “I love you, and I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be what you need, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying. I know that much.”
“You couldn't tell a lie if you tried, Ashland McCarthy.”
Then she kisses me, soft and sweet and full of promise, and for the first time since my brother died, I think maybe, just maybe, I can be the man she deserves.
The next day,we have dinner with the whole family. It's loud and chaotic as always, and she fits right in.
Bianca sits beside me, her hand in mine under the table, and I watch her laugh at Seamus's terrible jokes. Watch her hold her own in a debate with Declan about American politics.
“She's lovely,” Aunt Caitlin says, catching my eye. “Don't let her go, Ash.”
“I won't.”
“Good,” she says. “Your parents will like her.”
My mum and da haven't come yet. We're keeping things quiet—not a lot of in and out of the house. But now that Crowning's gone into hiding, I've been thinking about bringing them round.
“Ashland,” Bianca says softly, leaning toward me. “I'm thinking I want to help with the family business.”
I tense. “Bianca?—”
“I know I don't have the skills that Erin has or the training like you do, but I can learn. I want to learn.”
“You don't have to?—”
“I want to.” Her chin lifts, stubborn and beautiful. “I don't want to sit around and be protected. I want to be useful. I want to be part of this.”
“Right.” I'll talk to Erin, see if she has any ideas.
“I have a degree,” she tells me. “I studied, you know.”
“I know.”
“I'm not exactly sure how my history degree is going to help you,” she says with a grin.
“Better than the degree I have, isn't it?”
“Which is?”
“None.” She grins wider.
“But if you work for us, you'll listen to me.” My voice goes hard. “You follow orders.Myorders. Seamus's orders. If I say something's too dangerous, you listen to me, lass. Do you understand?”
“I understand.”
I pull her close and breathe her in. “I never thought I'd have this,” I whisper. “Someone to come home to. Someone who sees all of me and stays.”
“I'm not going anywhere, Ashland McCarthy,” she says. “You're stuck with me.”
“Good,” I whisper.
I couldn't save my brother. Couldn't protect what mattered most. But I'll be damned if I fail Bianca.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
