‘Seems’ being the key word. She can be, when it’s just the two of us and I haven’t messed something up, but she’s never given any of my girlfriends a chance. Some kind of weird jealousy, like she’s afraid I’ll abandon her. If she were a normal person, she could’ve given us a moment and come back later, but she chose to make things as awkward as possible.
“Sure, when she’s not completely ruining my day,” I say, pulling Ellie along the road back to the Academy. I slow down as she grimaces with her steps, but this isn’t the best part of town to linger in.
“You don’t get along?”
“She has… expectations. When I don’t meet them, which is most of the time, things get… tense.”
That’s an understatement, but I don’t need to ruin the moment any more by detailing my childhood beatings. Or making her realize how terrible I am at everything.
Ellie nods. “My father’s like that, too. My whole life has been striving to meet the bar he set.”
I glance over at her, my chest a little lighter. She understood, when no one else had. They’ve always just blamed me. Called me weak. But we’re both still here, carrying on.
“It sounded like she’s a seamstress?” she asks.
“Yep.”
“Do you often make deliveries for her?”
“Unfortunately. Most days, she can hardly make it to the shop. But people pay extra for delivery, and we need all the money we can get.”
Ellie’s steps slow, and a worryburns in my throat that she finally realized how below her station I actually am.
“Maybe I could go with you?” she asks.
Relief washes through me, but it’s swallowed by the disappointment of knowing it won’t work. “No, you barely made it here. Farmer Crowley’s six miles away.”
“Oh.” She sounds the way I feel, at least. “Well, you should probably get going—you have far enough to go already. I can get back on my own.”
The last thing I want is to leave her, but I push that thought aside. It won’t help anything, so the best I can do is make sure this final moment together is perfect. I guide her hands to my chest as I step closer, then wrap my arms around her while her thumb caresses me with slow, gentle circles.
Losing myself in the warmth of her eyes, all other thoughts drift away. No one’s ever looked at me like this, with genuine care instead of just lust.
“Should I find you at lunch tomorrow?” I ask.
Ellie lifts herself up on her toes, bringing her lips to mine. I breathe in her kiss, holding onto it for as long as my lungs allow.
“I’m counting on it.” Her fingers find my hand, lingering in my grasp as she steps away, until I finally let her go. I stand there, waiting for her to look back.
She never does.
Chapter 7
Ellie
Itake an extended soak in the tub when I return to my dormitory, longing to ease my aching muscles in the warm water. My next fire incanting class with Professor Beckwith is in two days; hopefully my body will recover in time.
After drying off, I change into a clean uniform and return to our sitting room with my sketchbook, planning to pass the time until dinner drawing. I’ve just turned to a fresh page when I notice Sophie’s door is ajar—she must have returned while I was bathing.
For all my hopes of making friends, I’ve so far failed at forming much of a connection with either of my roommates. If I can fix their fight, that could go a long way in doing so. After a moment’s hesitation, I knock on her door.
“Sophie, can we talk? I haven’t seen you since placements.”
Peeking into the shadows of her room, I find her at her desk, writing by lantern light, and a potent sandalwood scent overwhelms my nostrils. Her straight blond hair hangs down today, shorter than my brown locks, the sharp edges grazing her shoulders.
She drops her pen and turns to me, her mouth scrunched. “You should’ve told us who you were, and how much experience you had incanting.”
The words I had planned to say next disappear into the darkness—this isn’t just about Alexis, but me. I swallow, then my voice comes out dry. “You heard?”
