He’s gone before my mind even catches up to what he said, leaving me alone and more confused than ever.
* * *
I step into the morning air with renewed determination to make sure Taran succeeds today; it’s unclear what will happen after, but we’ll have prevented a war, and then maybe I can figure out how to convince everyone at home that incanting’s wrong. But for now, I’m wearing the servant’s garb Aerona gave me: a simple, hooded dress of undyed wool, with a long belt that matches the dark blue tunic Aerona wears—the perfect shade against her auburn curls.
She breaks away from her conversation with Taran and Emlyn, giving me a sharp nod. Then she directs me to sit near the remains of last night’s fire so she can braid my hair.
“Why? Won’t I have the hood up?” The dress, while warmer than the shirt and pants I’ve been wearing, won’t stop the icy morning dew from soaking through. I don’t need to spend half the day with a wet backside.
“It’s tradition, and people will notice. Now, sit.” Her rosy eyes bore into me until I comply.
With a grumble, I bunch my skirt beneath me and sit on the damp ground. “Will they really let you wander through the palace with us?” I wince as she tugs my hair much harder than necessary. Clearly, she has a problem with me.
“My father was one of the queen’s most trusted generals. There’s little reason to suspect any treachery from me.”
“Even though you’re friends with Taran?” I ask, watching him weave around some sheep on his way to Cadoc.
“We had a very public breakup four years ago and have hardly been seen together since. No one would consider us friends.”
I knew it.I bite back the smile trying to break free. The thought of Taran going from someone as beautiful as her to me? It’s petty, but it makes me feel good about myself.
She tucks my hair into my hood as she pulls it over my head, then she leans close to my ear. “A word of advice: keep your distance. You can’t fix him.”
“Fix him?”Does everyone really think Taran’s that broken?
But she’s already gone, joining Emlyn, who’s busy fussing with the bandages on Reid’s chest. She hugs him like an old friend, laughing at something he says while Reid blushes. She lifts her palm to Reid, and Emlyn directs him to press his against hers. It must be the fae equivalent of a handshake.
A pang of jealousy cuts through me. All I wanted from attending the Academy was to find people I could truly connect with—people who understood me. Several months later, I’m trapped in the faelands with no way of knowing if I’ll ever make it home, Reid wants nothing to do with me, and Taran…
There he is, still talking to Cadoc. I have no idea where he slept, and he’s avoided me all morning—I waited for ages inside the tent for him to do my glamour, only for Emlyn to pop in and do it himself, grumbling all the while. As irritating as that was, my heart twists at the thought that Taran may very well go off to face his mother without saying a word to me.
Determined not to let that happen, I march toward him.
“Can we talk?” I say, interrupting Cadoc. He stares at me, and my cheeks burn with regret at my zealousness.
Meanwhile, Taran averts his gaze as he rubs the back of his neck. Cadoc excuses himself, my anxiety swelling as he departs.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I should’ve waited.”
Taran finally looks at me. Despite the healthy glow to his skin, his eyelids sink, as if weighed down. “What did you need?”
“I…” Now that I’m here, everything I could say floods my mind, and my nerves spike with indecision—words of anger, fear—but I settle on honesty. “I didn’t want last night to be our last moment together. In case… things don’t go well today.”
Taran’s face softens, his shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t consider that.”
With tentative hands, I wrap my arms around him, tightening the embrace when he doesn’t pull away. I rest my face against his chest, melting into him.
“Tell me you’ll be safe,” I whisper, the steady drum of his heart beating in time with mine.
His fingers caress my back, his voice thick. “I can’t.”
The rhythm hitches as I fight the sting behind my eyes. He folds his arms around me, and I lift my gaze to his.
“You will be.” It’s a promise. To him, and myself.
Taran searches my eyes. I could stare into his forever, surrendering to their inner light; this won’t be the last time I wander their depths. It doesn’t matter if I don’t understand the plan. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he survives.
* * *
