“I’m not hungry.”
“We don’t get another meal for two days. To ensure we’re hungry enough to stomach one another’s blood.”
Fuuuuuuuck.
“How do you just accept this?” I snatch some roasted vegetables and smash them onto my plate.
“I have little choice. My father has just as tight a hold on me as your mother does on you.”
But their gift is curses, not willbending.That must mean…
“Has he—”
Owena shoves her fingers against my lips and makes an exaggerated glance toward the door.
Right. She’s listening.
Which effectively makes our time together useless. I channel my anger into my chewing, scarfing down as much food as possible because I donotwant to end up hungry for blood.
“Don’t do anything stupid.” That’s the last thing Owena says to me. She didn’t need to warn me—I don’t get a chance. It’s impossible to take a single step without my mother’s direction as she leads me and a dozen escorts to the site of my isolation. In this instance, that means sitting in a forest clearing that would normally be stunning, with the sun’s golden light filtering through the majestic pines, forming rays in the fog. Except I’m surrounded by heavily armed guards.
‘For my protection.’ Right. Then why are half of them staring at me instead of looking for intruders? I can’t even take a shit without them watching.
I’m supposed to be ‘communing with the Land,’ whatever that means; no one’s bothered explaining it and the guards ignore all my questions. So I sit on the grass and ask if She can sprout some mushrooms for me. The good kind.
She doesn’t. I blame the language barrier.
Or maybe She’s just ignoring me. Why should She give a damn when my own mother doesn’t? I rip out a chunk of grass, scattering the blades in the wind, just to spite Her.
The rest of the afternoon crawls by, with me lying on my back, staring at the sky while dread digs through my guts. I try to breathe away my spiraling thoughts, but they keep creeping back, like an army of ants swarming an apple core.
Blood, dripping down Owena’s arm. Me, licking it up. Its awful, metallic taste as I swallow it down, turning her into a part of me I never wanted. Either I do it on my own, or my mother forces me. And then…
My guards say nothing, just standing there, eerily still, spears sharp. Until they shift, grass crunching beneath their feet, the tiny sound startling me into thinking someone’s approaching. Sparking hope that they’ll take me far away from here. Tell me it’s all a mistake.
But no one’s coming.
My stomach growls just as the sun sets.Maybe I should sleep?Seems pointless. Asleep or awake, what’s the difference? Hunger pangs won’t bother me while unconscious, but sleeping will only bring me closer to the bloody fuck-fest that is my wedding.
That’s my fate, whether I want it or not. Something to do with my life, at least. A bloody fucking purpose.
It fits. That’s all I was ever good for.
My ribs constrict around my lungs, pushing out needling hiccups. Like my body’s mocking me for ever thinking I could be happy here. That escape was possible.
There’s no air. Only shallow, agonizing breaths.
Laughter somehow falls out, broken and wrong.Is it mine? Why am I laughing? This isn’t funny.
It gushes, the spurts and waves crushing my lungs. Tears pour from my eyes. I curl into a spasming ball, every muscle jerking, pain stabbing my gut.
My brain squeezes, forcing a thought.
Is this how I lose my mind?
No. I can’t. Not now.
I claw at the grass, the sharp blades pricking my skin as I grasp for it, but it slips through my trembling fingers. This should be easy—are my hands not working?
