I close my eyes, the balls of my fists digging into my eye sockets. My chest heaves, a hollow ache throbbing behind my ribs. Then silence, broken only by the distant wails of woodwinds.
“Did you love her?” Owena asks, her voice quiet.
A sharp pain cracks through me. “With all my heart. She’s everything.” Ellie’s face forms in my mind, but the fire it should have ignited is cold as ice.
Owena squeezes my shoulder. “Do you know what happened to her?”
“No.” It comes out as a sob, my eyes opening. “I knew my mother wanted to take me away. I told her. She was scared. But we couldn’t remember each other when we weren’t together—she won’t even know I’m gone. That I ever existed.”
I curl my knees to my chest as my tears fall. We should’ve gone to the headmaster. My gut told me it was fae; I should’ve listened. Should’ve pushed harder.
Everything hurts, splintering out from my heart. My body wants to collapse into itself, but my mind flails for answers.
Why would Mother do this? All my other girlfriends… She just creeped them out until I wasn’t worth it anymore.
Or did she?I wouldn’t know if I can’t remember.
No—Owena only mentioned one curse.
Unless she had another way of doing it. All fae can curse; I remember that much, at least. But Owena’s family is extra good at it. Their royal gift.
I wipe my eyes. “What’s the Evermoor family gift?”
Owena blinks as her mouth drops open, then swallows. “Willbending. The ability to force one’s will on others. Make them do whatever she wants.”
Everything suddenly clicks. So many moments when I wanted nothing to do with my mother, but she’d tell me to do something… to follow, calm down, take Owena for a walk… and I just did.
“Fuck.” The back of my head makes a painful thunk as it hits the wall behind me. It’s even worse than I thought.
But if it’s a family gift…
“Can I willbend?” I rack my brain for any times someone might have done something I asked more easily than I expected. Outside of charming girls, nothing comes to mind.
“With your mortal blood, it’s difficult to guess,” Owena says, “and it’s unlikely your mother would ever teach you how.” She takes my hands, pulling them close. “Please, Caeo. You can’t confront her. At best, she’ll curse you again. At worst, she’ll just force you to do whatever she wants. But she’ll know it was me who broke it.”
I search her face in the dim candlelight, the sun having almost set. Her fear looks real, her lip trembling.I really did make her life harder, didn’t I?I didn’t mean to; I just wanted her help.
My eyes sink shut.What do I do now?I thought I understood my situation. That I could manage it.
I was wrong. So wrong.
Owena pulls me into an embrace, and I sob until there’s nothing left. Till I can’t breathe.
The world goes numb. Nothing but throbbing emptiness.
“I’m sorry, Caeo,” Owena whispers. “I should never have said anything. But you need to find a way past this, to pretend nothing’s wrong.”
“It doesn’t matter. She can’t take anything else from me. She already took everything.”
“And what about me?” Owena tilts my head up till I meet her gaze, her voice soft. “You may be content throwing your life away, but can you throw mine away as well? She’ll know it was me.”
I take a deep breath. It hurts. A lot. But Owena’s only at risk because I pushed her. Manipulated her.
She’s the only ally I have—I can’t abandon her. But more importantly, she can free Ellie from the curse.
It’s something to hold on to. I just need to somehow bury my aching heart before my mother sees me.
Chapter 32
