Chapter 28
Idrifted in and out of a sea of darkness, the fog blanketing me in comfort. Muffled shouts rang out. A vibrating growl rumbled close by. The bitter-edged scent of purloe flowers.
Shade.He was here.
I tried to pry my eyes open, but they were heavy, aching, and wouldn’t respond.
The wave of darkness swallowed me again.
In my next moment of awareness, everything was quiet. I was moving, then warm liquid surrounded me, stinging my open wounds and rousing me to consciousness. My eyes flew open, and I groaned, blinking against the too-bright light of flickering candles.
I lay in the tub, Wista kneeling beside it, face twisted with concern as candlelight reflected against the tear tracks staining her cheeks. The sight sent my heart racing—only when she spoke of her past, did she show such emotion. Her mouth broke into a watery smile, but the sadness remained in her eyes.
Something, no,someonebeneath me shifted, and I became aware of the strong arms cradling me. The cloth moved gently across my skin, taking with it smudges of red.
Shade.
The caress was in such contrast to the earlier forced touch, tears spilled over my cheeks, dripping into the bathwater. I couldn’t begin to unravel the emotions assaulting me.
Shame. Guilt. Anxiety. Fear.Anger.
Malicious eyes and phantom pains flashed, digging a path in my chest, demolishing walls I erected years ago and leaving an empty hole in its wake. A cavity of despair.
I released a sob, and muscles bunched beneath me, drawing attention to the fact Shade’s torso was bare, his body free of clothes, save for his undergarment. The ridges of his scars so different to the skin of the king, they had the opposite effect. Comfort, not fear. Calm, not anger.
This close, the woodsy notes to his scent dominated the floral, with something else underlying it, spicy and warm, settling the turmoil in my chest.
He cleaned every inch of my skin with careful touches. When he reached the apex of my thighs, he paused, silently asking for permission to continue. I nodded, unable to say the words, to verbalize any of the tumultuous feelings jumbled within me.
Ever so gently, Shade cleaned me, removedhimfrom me. There was nothing sexual about the touch, only gentle care. Emotion built in my chest until I couldn’t hold it in any longer, releasing a harsh cry. The arm around me squeezed, hauling me even further into the warmth of Shade’s chest. Securing me in safety as he cleansed my skin, replacing it with his own touch.
Cradling me close, Shade stood from the tub, and I leaned my head against his chest of pale skin and swirling black. There was a mottled patch of skin directly above his heart distracting me from the tightness in my own chest—the hollowness of my heart.A handprint was burned into his flesh, like a flaming hand had been placed there. I hovered my own palm above it, my hand fitting the print almost perfectly. The mark was small. Feminine.
A burning sensation flared in my chest as my fingers curled over his scarred skin. Whether it was jealousy or anger, I couldn’t tell, not with the maelstrom of other emotions suffocating me. Perhaps a mixture of both. Someone had hurt Shade, and I couldn’t stand it.
Wista draped towels over us, patting me dry but careful not to touch Shade, who refused to let me go. My breath hitched when we entered the bed chamber. Were it not for the missing rug, it could have been any other day. Not a piece of furniture or pillow was out of place, the blankets pulled down to reveal fresh sheets.
Shade placed me on the mattress, and all I could do was stare at the soft canopy above.
Phantom hands gripped my ankles. The feeling of being dragged down the sheets ran along my back. Stars dotted in front of my eyes, my chest constricting as I relived it all.
Then Shade was there again, hauling me into his dry, bare chest and bringing me back to the present. I released the breath I had been holding, soaking in his scent on my next inhale. I closed my eyes and rested against his chest again, his abnormal thrumming heartbeat grounding my churning thoughts. A soft click told me Wista had left.
“I have you now, my Solis, and I will never let you go.” The roughness to his words brought back stinging tears, and there was no stopping the heavy sobs that followed, racking my entire body.
I broke.
Right there in Shade’s arms, I mourned.
For myself. For the person I had been before this horrific night. Before the king stole from me.
The weight of all my decisions suffocated me in a wave of dark despair, the thrumming beat beneath my ear the only thing stopping me from letting it smother me entirely.
I failed.
Eleanor. Shade. My mother.Myself.
I failed us all.
