I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t see him again.
My breaths shortened into pants, and I clutched my throat, like I could force oxygen in through my skin. Wista glanced over her shoulder, my darkening vision framing her as she noticed Ino longer followed. Brown eyes widened, and she rushed to me, gripping my elbow and pulling me into a small alcove along the wall.
“Deep breaths, Adelia. Like me, watch.” She took an exaggerated breath, held it for a few seconds, then released. She repeated the exercise, gesturing for me to copy her.
I took a deep breath, the much-needed oxygen offering my lungs relief. I copied Wista’s movements. A breath in, a breath out.
In. Out. Repeat.
My heart rate slowed, and the pounding in my ears lessened.
“That’s it,” she coaxed, rubbing my arms. “You can do this, Adelia. For Eleanor.”
Her name centered me, allowing me to focus.
Wista was right, I had to do this for her. I couldn’t fall into a spiral before I even saw the king. I had to succeed in my deceit; show him I’d adhere to his demands. I needed to be a blank slate. Shut out all emotion, like Shade was so good at doing.
I was all Eleanor had left, the only one who would look out for her. I needed to be stronger. For her.
“F-for Eleanor,” I said, my voice shaky after the attack. Wista’s eyes searched mine, and after finding what she was looking for, she gave my hands a comforting squeeze.
“Alright, Adelia. Let’s go.”
We made it to the doors without further incident, and when Wista pushed them open, I paused at the threshold. Like everything else in the castle, the deep-blue room was luxurious and extravagant, gold trimming covered the walls, and the ceilings were decorated with black iron chandeliers.
The long table running the length of the room was already filled with people, some I didn’t recognize, others I did. Terym hadn’t arrived yet, the realization sending a small trickle of relief through me.
“Lia! Over here.” Eleanor’s voice could be heard over the rumbling of the table, and eyes followed me as I hurried to my sister. She was practically jumping in excitement, and I couldn’t help but return the sentiment when I drew her into my arms, squeezing tight despite the ache in my ribs.
“I missed you too, Lia,” she whispered with a light giggle. When I finally released her, we gave each other a thorough once over. “How are you feeling?”
Concern furrowed her brow when she noticed the pallor of my face, and guilt filtered like hot acid into my gut. I didn’t want to worry her, but better she believed I was sick than the truth.
I sent her what I hoped was a reassuring smile and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I’m much better.”
We took our seats, and Harkin leaned over Eleanor to flash a boyish grin my way. “Good to see you, Miss Adelia. Ellie was ready to kick your door down if you didn’t show up tonight.”
Ellie.
Unexpected pain lanced my chest at the nickname. I hadn’t heard it, hadn’t used it since our parents were alive.
Growing up, Eleanor had always been Ellie, and I had been Lia. To each other, to our parents. To everyone. After they died, I couldn’t stomach hearing either name aloud, so when we moved to Toreshire, I insisted on my full name, which didn’t send me flying back into painful memories. Even if Eleanor hadn’t stopped calling me Lia, I hadn’t called her Ellie again.
I just … couldn’t.
“I was not,” she huffed, slapping Harkin lightly on the arm. “I was just going to wait outside until she let me in. Sleeping on the floor if I had to.”
Harkin smirked, then winked as he said, “I would have kept you company.”
Eleanor exaggerated an eye roll, her cheeks slightly pink. “Thank theGodsLia left her suite, then.”
Everything about the interaction spoke to how close they had grown while I was hidden away.
I didn’t like it.
The timber doors opened, and Terym strode in, silencing the entire room with his presence, the navy tunic he wore the perfect complement to my gown. Everyone stood on his entrance, and when he approached, the smile he sent my way hid the menace in his eyes, but it was still there, lingering under the surface.
That smile was the one he used just before he struck me. It was the same smile he’d donned every time we spoke, from the moment we’d met.
