I nod, my facial features tight with the effort it takes to withhold my tears. “Dad deserved better,” I whisper.
“He did, but you did all you could do. You’ve been his constant companion since you got free. You made his last two years on this earth peaceful and filled with your love for him. Do not let yourself forget that.”
“I’ll try. Thank you for going to the funeral with me tonight. I don’t expect a lot of people there, but the mere thought of being there …” I trail off, thinking of my father as tears sting my eyes. I lost out on so many of his good days because of the demon that biology made my brother. I hope he’s rotting in hell, but I’m almost positive he’s not. He’s in hiding, lying in wait to cause more pain. That’s who he is.
“Have you thought anymore about moving to the Black Stone Ranch? Carson said they’ve got a house you can stay in. You can work for him. It might make you feel more secure.”
I swallow nervously. Winnie has been really good to me. She has three cousins who own and operate Black Stone Ranch. They’re all ex-military, and she thought I’d feel safer there than out on my own. She’s probably right, but it also feels like another prison—even if it is one that I choose. I just can’t get myself to agree—at least not yet. I am thinking about moving. The only thing that stops me is that I have no idea where Douglas is hiding. My instincts are telling me I’m only safe here—in this place that I now loathe—because Douglas is afraid to come back here. I have more than enough reasons to hate the Saint’s Outlaws at this point, but if I can use them to my advantage, then I’ll do it. At least, I feel safe in knowing they have one member I can trust in their group.
“I’m still thinking about it. If they were in another state, I’d have already said yes. To be honest, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be moving, Winnie.”
“That’s the last thing you need to be doing—at least somewhere you don’t have a support system set up. Let me help you, Livy. You’re not alone. If you weren’t so stubborn, you’d have enough money that you could hire your own security team,” she points out. She often tries to remind me of that. Bear had one of his men charged with finding me if something were to happen to him. The man gave me a letter and enough money to see me through the rest of my life. I haven’t touched the money. I’ve been living off my savings, and now, what remains from Dad's life insurance after covering his funeral expenses. I know I’ll have to find a job soon because I don’t want to touch Bear’s money. He gave me what I needed the most with his goodbye and his letter. Just the thought of it makes my heart squeeze in my chest. He deserved so much more than he received. I wish I could turn back the clock …
I take a breath and look at Winnie. “Let’s just go. Once I bury my father … then I’ll figure out what comes next.”
“Do you think the demon spawn will show up?”
“I don’t think so, but Sean is going to be there in case,” I admit.
“I think Detective Sutton would agree to be your personal bodyguard pretty easily,” she singsongs.
“Let’s go,” I whisper again, my voice hoarse with unshed tears. Winnie gets the hint and squeezes my hand as we walk out of my bedroom and through the main room.
I’m living in Winnie’s apartment. At some point that should probably change, but I feel a little safer not having anything in my name. I know, however, everything will change after today. People have seen my father’s obituary. They will show up today, just to see if I’m there. I fully expect to see Blade there. The man I thought I loved once. The man who lied to me. The man I suppose I betrayed—although it doesn’t feel like that.
If anything, I feel as if I betrayed Bear …
I push my thoughts away. I’m going to need all my energy to get through today. I’ll worry about everything else as it comes at me. If the last two years have taught me nothing, it’s that you just have to wait to see what comes next and pray you survive. That’s become my mantra, and it’s especially true today because I feel more alone than I’ve ever felt in my life.
5 BLADE
“I’m ready, Mr. Aetos. Do I look okay?”
I look up as Layna walks in from my bedroom to the main area of my penthouse. I’m on the top floor of the hotel and casino overlooking everything, and while the old me wouldn’t have given a damn about this place, the man I am now appreciates all the glass and wide-open areas. It’s about as far from prison as I can get. Layna has her bleach-blonde hair pulled up. I imagine she thinks she looks sophisticated. It falls short, but that’s not the look I intend for her to have. I walk over to her and effortlessly dislodge the pins holding her hair in place. She gasps, but I see the greedy desire in her eyes. I run my fingers through her hair, so it looks like she just went all night taking dick through every hole she has. The dress is bright red and hugs her body. Her fake tits nearly fall out of the deep V-cut. It’s backless, and when she walks, you can see the indentation of her ass. Sadly, her thong shows. I thought the men taught her better than that. Curling my finger into the part of the red lace thong that shows, I pull it tight, and use my other hand to rip the flimsy fabric in two, then let it go. I watch as Layna reaches under the dress and pulls out the ruined thong with a smile. She hands it to me, and I just let it fall to the floor.
“Let’s get moving,” I grumble, walking in front of her.
“Where are we going?” she asks, and I try to ignore how annoying her voice is.
“To a funeral,” I answer, opening the door. We step outside and I lock it using the keycode. I notice the way Layna watches every move I make. I pin a mental note to myself to change the code once more when I’m alone.
“You’re so funny, Blade,” she laughs. I roll my eyes, but don’t bother to glance back at her.
We make it to my car without having to speak at all, and I call it a win. I use the fob to unlock the doors and leave her to her own devices. I can see from the corner of my eye that it annoys her. I don’t hide my smile. In her head, I think she’s dreaming up that we have some kind of relationship. She’s just a tool that I can use to hurt Olivia. It helps that she’s a warm hole, but that’s all that is between us. If she doesn’t stop trying to latch onto me so tightly, I’ll have to cut her loose. That’s fine. There are other girls at the club I can use. I just know that Olivia didn’t like Layna. I want to remind her of our past and how much things have changed.
I want to make Olivia’s life miserable.
I’m going to take everything from her—just like she helped take my brother from me. I may not kill her, but by the time I’m done, the bitch will be praying for death. The drive to the cemetery is anything but peaceful. Layna rattles the entire time. I tune her out. If there is a bright side to prison, it’s that you learn to put up mental walls so you can zone out. I’d do that every night. It’s how I survived. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do it through the day. Surviving meant keeping all my senses alert throughout the day. Hell, sometimes it was dangerous at night, but if I hadn’t checked out for a few hours, I wouldn’t have escaped death. That place sucked the life out of me every single second I was there. I don’t even recognize the man I am now. Bear would hate what I’ve become. I hate that he’s gone, but I am glad he’ll never know how much prison changed me.
“What the fuck, Blade? We’re really going to a cemetery?” Layna practically screeches as I pull through the gates.
“I told you,” I point out.
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you were serious.”
“I don’t joke, Layna. I can’t imagine why you thought I would about this.”
“Because of the outfit you bought me! This is not a cheap dress, Blade. I thought we were finally taking our relationship to the next level.”
