I scrunch up my nose. “Nothing he could do could hurt me. That said, if you continue seeing him, make him get rid of that bitch.”
“I shouldn’t see him again,” she groans as we pull up to the gate. It’s a huge iron gate with three horses running on the left side in black iron and the right side of the gate has a giant B that is intertwined with an S. There’s a gatehouse in front of it and Winnie hits the button to lower her window as a guard steps out.
“Name?” the guard asks.
“Winnie Mason and Olivia Davis? Carson is expecting us.”
“Of course, Ms. Mason. He’s waiting for you two by the stables.”
“Thank you,” she says, rolling the window up.
I’m muted until she pulls into a parking area, then I reach over and grab her hand. “Winnie?”
“Yeah?” she says, with a mixture of nerves and fear.
“Please stop worrying. I’m fine with you and Blade together. You’re my friend. You helped save my life. All I truly want is for you to be happy.” She stares at me, searching for the truth. I have nothing to hide. It might be weird, but this is legitimately how I feel. “Please stop worrying,” I plead again. Finally, she smiles.
“I love you, Livy. I feel a pull toward Blade. It’s so strong and powerful. He says he feels the same thing. I don’t understand it, but I do know that if you objected, I’d walk away.”
“That’s something I won’t ever do. Please stop worrying. I loved Blade as much as I was able once, but we’ve had this discussion in therapy. Bear held a piece of me that I could never give to someone else. That doesn’t end for me just because he’s not here. I hid from it for a while, and look what happened? No. I’m done. I don’t have more of myself to give. Maybe, whatever comes after this world, I’ll get my chance with Bear once more,” I explain, and the thought leaves a genuine smile on my face.
“I want that,” she says softly.
“What?” I ask confused.
“A love so powerful even death doesn’t let it fade.”
“Don’t forget the love story was really fucking depressing for the most part,” I confess.
“It’s also beautiful. You and Bear shared the depths of something most of us can’t even begin to imagine.”
I search her words, but I can’t deny them. “Yeah,” I breathe.
We get out of the car and meet up with Carson. We spend the next hour touring the ranch—which seems more like a small town. There’s a little café and even a small store filled with camping supplies and a few must-have groceries near a public campground. In the private area of the ranch, there’s an area filled with cabins that Carson said the ranch hands and security live in. Two men are married, and their wives seem really nice. I met Carson’s brother, Cooper, and another guy named Jeff. They all seem like really good people and it’s a miracle, but as nervous as I am at meeting all new people, I feel comfortable too. It’s like … I belong here. That sounds silly, but it’s true.
“This is pretty much it, Olivia. What do you think about the place?”
“I love it,” I admit at once.
“Does that mean you’d be willing to sign up with us?” Carson asks.
“If you’re really okay with me being here, then definitely. I was serious, though. I want to work.”
“I’ll have Lisa show you a list of openings we have here. Will that work?”
“It’s perfect,” I answer, and for once, I feel eager about the future.
“Great. Now, let’s go have dinner with Lisa, and we’ll talk about specifics and how soon you want to move in.”
“Sounds good,” I answer, and I smile at Winnie. “Thank you,” I whisper to her.
She hugs me, and we follow Carson to his home. I feel like I’m finally moving forward, and it’s more than just liberating. It’s intoxicating. My past hasn’t broken me. I survived and I will do what I promised Bear I would do. I would build a life. He assumed that was with Blade, but I never agreed to that. I will build a peaceful life and surround myself with the memory of him.
That’s all I need.
17 BLADE
I stare at Bear’s letter, and I still can’t bring myself to open it. I just can’t read it. Losing Bear ripped my heart out, and I lost myself in all the misery. I was hoping today would be the first really good day I’ve had. Instead, I woke up to an empty bed. I should take the hint and let Arwen get away from me, but I decide not to. I put the envelope down and pick up my cell. I dial her number, preparing myself for the moment she tells me not to bother her again. I mean, I get it. She’s a damn good woman. She deserves more than an ex-con who has let hate and vengeance bleed into everything that made him a man. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to talk her into giving me a shot. Turns out my brother and I are both just fools whose biggest downfalls are women. I can’t help it, though. Arwen is the first thing that makes me feel alive since being with Olivia. I know being with Arwen means I have to give up my dream of revenge—at least on Olivia. I can live with that. I doubt Cross and the boys would have cooperated much anyway. Cross and Hangman are right. Bear would kick my ass if I hurt Olivia. My gaze goes back to the letter as Arwen’s phone rings. I really am going to have to read that fucking thing.
