Now that I was out of there, the guilt of it flooded in.
“Hey, are you okay?” my mate asked.
“Yeah. No. I don’t know.”
Bryden led me to the bed. We sat on the edge. He kept a hold of my hand, probably sensing that I needed his touch, or maybe he needed mine too.
“That was a lot,” I admitted. “Oh, a real lot, all at once. We need to talk about it and figure out what we want to do. But before that, I need to ask you something.”
He nodded.
“The alpha shit this morning,” I said, “was that more about security?”
“No, you were right in your guess that it had to do with the logs. The meeting wasn’t planned.”
That had me relieved. It meant Auden hadn’t been aware of the threat when he encouraged me to take a job. He wasn’t that kind of person. Of course, he wouldn’t knowingly put me in danger, but I’d been let down by so many people for so many years. I needed the reassurance.
“Later I want to hear all about it.” I leaned into his side.
“And now?”
“Now I need to tell you about my day. This morning I talked to Auden for a little while, and then I went to town to get a job,” I said, speaking a mile a minute, knowing that if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to get it all out.
“Did people know where you were? Because I didn’t.” He didn’t disguise the hurt in his voice. I deserved that.
“I know, I know you didn’t, and I’m sorry.” I wasn’t going to make excuses. “I figured town was safe. Poachers aren’t going to want to be around humans. Plus, Auden knew, so it wasn’t like nobody knew.”
I waited for him to tell me he was disappointed or mad or to give me a lecture. None of it came. Instead, he supported me. “Were you successful?”
“In two ways. I found the pies those college kids were talking about, and I got a job at the general store.” I went into details about both, my mate asking clarifying questions and not rushing me.
“Those are all good things. Why do you look so tense as you tell me?”
“Because on the way home, I scented horses near the turnoff to the pack lands.”
“You really need to tell the alphas.” He wasn’t scolding me, but it sure felt that way.
“I know. I will when we go to dinner, I promise. I just… it was overwhelming.” I wasn’t sure which was more so, the potential danger or the fact that they wanted to welcome us fully.
“They want us to join the pack.” Bryden twisted so we were now looking at each other instead of sitting side by side.
“They do, and it feels unfair to them.”
“They don’t see it that way, mate.” He wasn’t scolding, but that didn’t make sense. How could they not see our predicaments leading them nowhere but trouble
“They’re not like my herd.”
“No, they’re not, my love. They’re not like anyone else but them.”
“What do you want to do?” I asked. I was going to go with whatever he wanted.
“I want to stay,” he said. “There’s safety in being in this pack, safety from my status as a rogue, safety because of the numbers, safety from the poachers.”
It wasn’t going to be 100% safe here, but nowhere would.
“And it feels like home.” My mate felt it too.
“Everything you said is true. But what if I’m the big, bright neon light flashing for trouble to come? What if, because of me, they get hurt?”
