“He’s anAvtoritet. The local Authority. Deals with the police and ensuring we don’t all go to prison.”
“So, they’re like mafia bosses?”
He laughed—genuinely laughed at me. “Kotik, there is no ‘mafia,’ what are these Western ideas?”
“It’s not a Western idea…”
“Have you ever heard ofVory v Zakone?” He didn’t wait for my answer, which was a good thing because I hadn’t. “They’re older than Kurov’s faction or anyone like Sergei. Probably the reason you are familiar with gulag tattoos. That’s who Moscow is, but you don’t need to mention it around company.”
“Oh.”
He patted my leg, then his hand slid higher to the hem of the dress. “You look beautiful, Kotik,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”
The flutters in my stomach brought on a grin despite my uneasiness. “I missed you too…”
His fingers traced the lace, the pressure on my upper thigh bringing back warm memories of a wintry day. His taking what he wanted. Not allowing me release until he deemed me spent…
“You’ve spoken to Misha?” he asked.
I nodded, my thoughts derailed. He told me not to call Misha, and the idiotic part of me grew giddy at whatever punishmenthe’d think up for that. Why was the idea of goading him on so appealing? He didn’t like asking, and didn’t like giving choices, and maybe some part of me wanted to test how far I could get before his composure snapped… good things happened when he snapped…
And my thoughts were right back on track, more aware of his hand than ever.
“Good,” he said.
Fine. Didn’t want to fight anyway.
“I need you to understand the apartment was never meant to be permanent for you. I should have checked that it was ready.”
I’d already spent weeks blaming him for something he wasn’t even aware of, and the flutters disappeared at the thought. Now he was apologizing, and that made me a bad person.
“You rescued us from a bad situation when I needed it most.” I sighed, chewing on my cheek like it was my pride. “I have no right to say anything. I was just scared.”
“Katya,” he said sternly. “I don’t want to hear that again. You always have the right to voice things with me. Especially if you are scared—and I will always do my best to make sure you never feel this way. But you have to understand, I am a part of a bigger organization. Things go on in Kurov I am not privy to, and I prefer it. You are mine—and this means I will give the world to you, but when it comes to my work, you have to be on my side. No matter what. You see a problem, you call me, you let me take care of it. If I tell you it’s not a good time—it’s not a good time.”
“I know…”
“I don’t think you do. I wouldn’t be telling you any of this if I didn’t have to. You have to trust me. This was a simple thing, but there might be a time you get really scared, and you feelthere is no way but to call the police. I can’t have you do that. Never the police. Say it.”
“Never the police,” I agreed. A year ago, the idea of my renouncing law enforcement would have been laughable.
“Good Kotik. Touch up your lipstick, we’re almost there.”
I flipped the sun visor down, and a face I did not recognize stared back at me. The amount of product she used cost more than all the make-up I had at home. I’d never be able to replicate it, because this wasn’t the same Katya anymore. My lipstick was the only thing I could call my own.
My Dark Cherry red. The one I wore before any of this came into my life. The one he smeared across my cheek on that December night. The one he liked.
He might have dressed me up, but even with this new, temporary face, it served as a reminder that he wanted me before all this. It was so easy to paint him in the light of forcing me into the person he wanted. So easy to make him the bad guy. But he didn’t take things away—he gave, and he gave generously.
Well, except the vodka. He took away the vodka.
“What is on your mind?” he asked.
“I don’t know…”
“Kotik, do not insult me. Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
“That you are very handsome,” I said, “and I am lucky to be with you.”
