They weren’t gentle waves. They weren’t the ocean. This was violence and pain and the need toinflictpain all in one perfect unraveling. Through it I heard his hoarse, heavy breathing, and that only prolonged the slip into my complete madness.
And he didn’t stop. He slowed, and let off his thumb as my body shuddered, and then pressed down again on my sensitive, swollen flesh. It took no time for me to clench around his fingers. Again and again, he sadistically kept me in place.
And then—the sky. Not Vitali’s face, but the sky. I expected blood on my fingertips when I touched my cheek, and realized there was no gun in my hands.
“Shh, I’ve got you, Kotik.” He picked me up (both of us were miraculously alive), and carefully set me on the snow-trampled ground.
The composed Vitali‘I will open every door for you and ask Mama for permission before kissing you without tongue’Konstantinov was once again before me, and whatever maniac possessed him was gone. When I regained myself, I’d have to decide if I missed him.
“You were perfect. You sit in the car—I’ll pack up. We’ll stop and get something to eat.”
* * *
Speech did not return to me as we sped between snowbanks, bouncing off uneven ice and hidden pavement. Vitali made it look so effortless when I’d be holding onto the steering wheel with an iron grip… like I’d held on to that gun.
The giddiness welled up inside me. Vitali Konstantinov made me cum. We had our first kiss on New Year’s, didn’t talk for a month, then he put a gun in my hand and made me cum.
I giggled like a madwoman at the absurdity. Covering my mouth did nothing because I heard him chuckle at my pain.
“But now you feel more confident with a firearm,” he said very seriously, as if I’d tried to dispute it.
“I had a good teacher…”
“Had?” He raised a brow.
“Oh yes, he died because we practiced too much.” I squeezed my eyes shut and doubled over into my lap until I could compose myself again. “I think I was too worn out—let my focus slip.”
“The safety was on.” He grinned, then tried to hide that it was more than a grin by looking out the window. “Kotik, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That you’ve never been with anyone.”
My poor stinging cheeks. What had been a light, whimsical feeling in my gut turned over.
“I didn’t know I was supposed to tell you… and it’s not like—it’s not like I’ve never been with someone, just notbeenwith someone,” I protested. “And I don’t think it’s medically possible for you to tell from—”
“Katya, relax,” he said, and his calming hand slid over my thigh. The same hand that just…
“It’s just that,” I insisted, “I grew up with the idea that it had to be forever. The person had to be forever. A home, kids, maybe a little orange cat.” I tried to conjure thoughts that a decent girl would think. One raised on morals and good grades. And not thoughts of the hard, thick…
“You don’t have to explain yourself. There is nothing that needs explaining.”
“And yet I was supposed to tell you? Why would I tell you?”
“Logistics.”
“Logistics?”
Logistics. If I could get redder, they would have to create a brand new word to describe the shade. Dark Cherry No4 had nothing on me.
“Do you still feel this way?” he asked.
I could only ‘huh’ at him as my eyes snapped up from his crotch.
“The ‘forever.’ You said you grew up with the idea. You didn’t say‘I believe that…’ So, do you still feel this way?”
All business.
