“Maybe you don’t either,” Delphine said to me. “Fight them. Tell them you do it your way or you’re finding another publisher.”
“You could self-publish,” Gillian said quietly. “That way you get to decide what you share and don’t share.”
“That feels like a big shift,” I said. But it was something to think about. I had many author friends who produced their own work. They loved the freedom it gave them. On the other hand, they didn’t have a powerful publisher behind them. One with a marketing team.
“Am I being ridiculous?” I asked my friends. “Maybe they’re right about the whole thing. I should use it to my advantage.”
“Whatever you do, think about it as a mom, not a writer,” Delphine said.
“Those two things aren’t separate,” I said. “That’s the problem.”
“Talk to Hunter about this,” Gillian said. “Work it out together. This won’t be the last challenge you face as a couple. Especially two people in the public eye. But it’ll be okay. As long as you’re acting from a place of integrity, you’ll be fine.”
I really hoped she was right. Because right now I felt completely uncertain of what the best step should be.
“Tyler and Peter have a baseball game tomorrow,” Gillian said. “I’ll be there, obviously. But maybe we should all go, in case Hawthorne decides it’s a good idea to send a team of photographers.”
“Gillian, that’s so scheming,” Delphine said. “And out of character. But I love it. I’ll be there.”
Lila and Esme also committed. Knowing my posse would be next to me made me feel instantly better.
“Hunter’s going too,” I said. “Tyler asked him to.”
“How sweet,” Esme said. “Thinking of stoic Tyler asking Hunter to his game makes me feel a little teary.”
“Me too,” I said. “I’m not sure any of us realized how much our children want a father.”
Delphine’s expression darkened as she stood. “I should go. I need to pick Annie up at practice.”
The others had to run to various kid related responsibilities too. A few minutes later, they were gone. My phone buzzed with a text from Hunter.
Hunter
Thinking about you. Can I pick you up tomorrow for Tyler’s game?
Seraphina
That would be nice. The ladies just left. Tyler’s home soon from practice. Do you want to come for dinner? We could order in.
Hunter
Sure. I’ll pick something up. Thai sound good? Or Mexican?
Seraphina
Tyler loves a fat burrito. And I like street tacos.
Hunter
I’m on it. Also, Tyler and I texted earlier about his next guitar lesson. We’ll eat first and then he and I can do our thing.
Seraphina
Great. See you soon.
I set the phone aside and turned on a streaming app to play music, choosing the Ivy James channel, as I put the emptyglasses in the dishwasher. A song played and finished and then another came on. It was Ivy, singing “Or Something Like That Anyway.”
Goosebumps traveled the length of my arms. Her voice was so beautiful and the song so exquisite, I had to sit down on a stool at the island. It was just her voice with Hunter’s guitar accompanying, the sound intimate, almost as if they were performing in my kitchen. I pulled up the streaming app on my phone to see when it was released. Just today. And it already had a million streams.
