Gods, I miss you. I miss your wit and hearing about your life. I miss feeling your days along with you. I miss you smiling at Roland when you know I’m there.
Say something. Anything.
Tell me you hate me. Tell me you’ve forgotten me. Tell me you’ve replaced me.
Just don’t keep doing this. Silence isn’t nothing. It’s worse.
I love you.
Yours,
Amos
Clover,
I train every day until I can barely move. I don’t speak to anyone because I don’t care. All day, I think of ways of getting to you, like I’m chasing a ghost.
I think I’ve finally descended into madness.
I love you.
Yours,
Amos
13
NINETEEN YEARS OLD
Clover,
I’m done asking. You don’t get to erase me. You don’t get to pretend I don’t exist just because you’re angry.
I feel you sometimes at night; your longing, your loneliness, your heartbreak. You miss me as much as I miss you. So don’t lie to yourself and say you’ve moved on, because you haven’t.
You wanted to erase the boy who broke your heart. Congratulations. You did. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
On a positive note, I’ve started going to the capital under the guise of visiting my father to find more loyalists. I’ve even gotten to kill a few.
Is that who you want? A man with blood on his hands who doesn’t let morals dictate his every move? A man so desperate for his mate to fight beside him that he’d rather kill than be alone with his thoughts? Because that’s who I am now.
I fucking love you, Clover. Come back to me.
Yours,
Amos
Clover,
Did you know I can tell when you think of me? There’s always an ache woven into whatever you’re feeling. Except when you fuck yourself—then you love torturing me, edging me through the bond almost every night.
Don’t think I didn’t notice that when I fuck my fist, you join in. Or how when you start without me, you can’t finish unless I’m stroking my cock right alongside you.
I’ve been trying to give you time. I’m done trying.
You belong here with me, and I’ll have you soon enough. I hope you fight me until we’re both bloody and bruised. Do you remember your safe word?Candle. That word is the only thing that will stop me from having you, because no matter what lies you tell yourself, I know the truth.
I’ll see you soon, mate.
