I had no one to speak to about this.
I tried to contact those who’d helped me break down the door on social media, but they always blocked me. No one wanted to speak about it. Not that I blamed them. Revisiting an ugly past was never easy.
Enzo’s phone rang, and I jumped at the sudden noise.
“Shit,” he said, climbing out from behind me. “Normally, I’d ignore this, but given?—”
“No, take it.”
He checked the caller and answered, “Yeah.” He nodded a few times. “How far out? Okay. We’ll be outside waiting.”
After ending the call, he looked at me. “Emeri is driving you back to the university. I want you to go to the Fawn Quarters and stay there until I come get you.”
“I can’t stay here?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but you’ll be safe down there. I promise.”
I’d created a bond with Enzo that I’d never had with anyone else.
A blood bond, one that couldn’t be broken even if I tried to run.
I was done being a scared Fawn.
I was ready to embrace my role.
“Stay down here,” Emeri said when he reached the Fawn Quarters. He started to leave, but then stopped suddenly. “And here’s your phone. Enzo said to make sure you stay in touch with him.”
His hand was cold when I took my phone from him.
He disappeared up the stairs and left.
During the drive here, he hadn’t said a word to me. I sat in the passenger seat of his black Camaro, anxiety getting the worst ofme. While I’d told Enzo my darkest secret, I hadn’t told himallof them yet. I would eventually.
The other two times I’d been in the Fawn Quarters before I was with Enzo, and while he’d given me a tour, I hadn’t had time to explore. I decided to do that now.
My first stop was the kitchen, which was fully stocked with food and drinks. I grabbed a yogurt and juice and sat at the table to eat.
After licking my spoon clean, I rinsed it off in the sink, stuck it in the dishwasher, and walked down the hall toward the library.
Enzo had said there were Fawn diaries down here. I’d spend my night reading them.
The library was at the end of the hall. Tall bookshelves lined the dark wood-paneled walls, filled with books about Saint Vale’s history, about the men who had founded the university, and some classic literature.
I wandered over to a small shelf in the corner, settled beneath a large canvas painting of a young fawn standing alone in a snowy clearing. I ran my hand over the soft brushstrokes of the fawn’s fur. My hand moved, tracing the painted pink blossoms on branches surrounding the fawn. The fawn’s eyes were dark, as if it were watching me, as if warning me.
Lowering my gaze, I saw the worn leather journals lined across the shelf. I ran my fingers along the blank spines before pulling one free. I opened it and found a year written inside the front cover beside the Fawn’s symbol.
I flipped through that one, and then another’s, and another’s.
Some of them even had pictures of the Fawn who owned it. Some with them with other Fawns. But none with pictures of the Sons.
I collected a stack of the diaries, headed back to my room, collapsed on my bed, and opened the top one.
With each diary I read, I felt like I was meeting the Fawns.
They were filled with pieces of their lives, advice for younger Fawns, and the different rulesand Initiations.
The more I read, the more I felt as if I almost knew them.
