I winced, unable to help the guilt that ate at me. She should have never been kidnapped on my territory, never mind gone for hours.
“I should have come sooner.” I cleared my throat. “I’d like a doctor to examine you when we return home.”
“Home,” she murmured, her eyelashes throwing shadows over her cheeks.
“It’s your home.” That got her to open her eyes, and the pain in them hurt as if it were my own. “I hope you think of it that way.”
Sophie mattered to me, and I feared that if she left me now, it would send me into a tailspin.
“I don’t… know.” She chewed on her bottom lip, her expression pained. “I just don’t understand how I could have been so wrong about him. How could he do this? I could never… would never?—”
“He’s a fool and a coward,” I gritted, the urge to kill him bubbling inside me. “He didn’t deserve you.”
“That’s what Kristoff has been saying for years,” she murmured, her shoulders slumping. “Yet, I can’t help but feel like such a fool for not seeing it sooner. Could I really be so stupid? I’m a doctor for Christ’s sake, and even I thought he had died in front of me.”
“It happened right after you hit your head. You were disoriented.” And that fucker of her ex-boyfriend took advantage of that. She remained quiet, the silence gutting me from the inside because all I wanted was to make her feel better. Keep her safe and happy.
“Talk to me,zemra ime,” I said softly.
“How long have you suspected Jonathan was alive?”
Somehow I wasn’t surprised that the question came. The request to Blackhawk had been nagging at me, and while I’d initially thought it was Jacqueline, River was able to dig through shields and walls of security, tracing it back to an unlikely name. Jonathan’s.
“It’s been about three days,” I admitted.
Her brows shot up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Two reasons,” I said slowly. “First one was that I was worried you’d be hurt if you got your hopes up and I turned out to be wrong. I never want to hurt you. Second… I was scared you’d no longer want me.”
She shifted so she could see me better, tilting her head as she studied me. “How could I not?”
“You’ve said it yourself. You loved Jonathan for so long, and we’ve only just met. And if you wanted him, I could never deny you. I’ll always want you to be happy, even though all I want is this”—I shifted my hand between her and me—“and you.”
I wanted her so badly that my body ached for her. I wasn’t much for games, and if she wanted Jonathan, I wouldn’t stand in the way. Although, I’d keep an eye on her for the rest of my life, and if he so much as stepped out of line, I’d fucking kill him.
But it wasn’t only that. I loved her so fucking much that she was the first person I thought about when I opened my eyes in the morning and the last name I breathed as I drifted to sleep.
“I loved him,” she said softly. “Past tense. He was my first love, but he won’t be my last.” I shifted in my seat and tried to read her expression. Her crystal blue eyes shimmered with emotions I didn’t dare name.
“What are you saying, Sophie?”
She reached up, pressing her palm against my cheek. “I’m saying that he was my first love, but you, Kian Cortes, are my last love, because I’m wild about you,” she murmured.
“You know, if you commit to this life, I’ll never let you go. Are you sure you can handle my way of life… now that you’ve witnessed it firsthand?”
“You don’t give me enough credit.”
I smiled. “You’re strong and I know it, but it’d be selfish not to give you a way out, even if that’s the last thing I want.”
“I don’t want a way out,” she whispered, then leaned forward to kiss me softly. “I just want you.”
“Good,” I murmured, holding her against my chest. “Becauseyou’re mine. Every single breath, heartbeat, chaotic thought. It’s all mine, and I wouldn’t change it, or you, for anything in the world.”
I held on to her until she fell asleep, and then I made two calls. The first was to Amir to ensure Jonathan had been escorted outside of Albania, because if I saw him, I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to Sophie and not murder the man.
And the second call was to Kristoff Baldwin, because my woman needed her family now more than ever.
Chapter 43
