God, why did those words make me all warm and gooey inside?
“My ex never talked like that,” I blurted out.
“No?” I shook my head and he hummed, pausing as if considering what to say next. “Do you… miss him?”
I immediately regretted bringing him up. His death and everything it represented still caused a pang in my heart.
“Yes and no. It’s difficult to explain,” I answered honestly. Kian stiffened under my touch and I rushed to explain: “I feel responsible for his death. If I had just stayed the course and stood by my rule that nobody deserves a second chance, he’d still be here, with his child.”
He relaxed. “He would have met someone else, and that person would have probably led him into the same exact position.”
“Maybe,” I agreed.
“A part of me can’t be sad about it, because it brought you to me,” he said, his voice rumbling through me while my chest burst with happiness.
I decided to change topics, but I couldn’t shake what his earlier mood might mean. “Any news on Jacqueline?”
Anger darkened his features. “We’re closing in, but we still haven’t pinned her exact location.”
“Meaning?”
“She contacted her son and we obtained details on their recent transactions, but until I have all the information, I don’t want to discuss it.”
“Poor Kai. He’s such a good kid. It’s hard to believe he’s Jacqueline’s son.” My throat tightened. “I’m glad he and Sienna are close and have each other to rely on.”
Kian’s hands pulled me closer.
“They’ll be safe, I promise you.” I nodded, grateful that he was taking it all into account. “Did you and Jonathan ever talk about having children?”
“No. Honestly, it never occurred to me, considering all the mess with his ex.”
“Do you want kids?”
I shifted so I could look him in the eye. The question surprised me a bit, but we were both adults, so it made sense he wondered. However, I was also worried about giving him an answer that would send him running.
Kian’s perceptiveness could be an inconvenience, so I chose my words carefully.
“I love kids… obviously.”
“But?” It shouldn’t have surprised me that he wasn’t the type to accept my words at face value.
“But I don’t want to have kids of my own,” I admitted. “Not now anyhow.” He nodded somberly, but when he didn’t comment, I couldn’t resist questioning him. “Is that… bad?”
He chuckled at my pursed lips.
“There’s no right or wrong to this. I never got married… Does that make me bad?” I shook my head. “There’s your answer.”
“Most people want kids,” I pointed out.
“You’re not most people.”
“Neither are you. I was just worried… if I didn’t give you the answer you liked, I’d send you running.”
He took my chin between his strong fingers and brought our faces so close our noses brushed together.
“Do you really take me for a man who runs away from a challenge?”
“No.” If anything, the man thrived on them. “Do you want more children?” I asked carefully.
