Lando pulls a face. ‘Nothing is set in stone. That’s the advantage of being a free spirit and entirely without ties– I can come and go wherever the wind blows me.’ Then he rubs his hands. ‘Thanks for a great afternoon, but Martha needs a walk so I’d better be heading off.’
Which, when I think about it later, is not only a complete load of cobblers, but it’s also very unlike Lando. And I’ve got no idea why, but as we all troop down the steps and wave Lando and Martha off at the garden gate I feel a pang of disappointment. That the dates are over. That he’s not coming to live next door after all. And I’m fully aware that after months of struggle and worry, none of this makes any sense.
I just hope he remembers that if he’s relying on us babysitting Martha, it’s not going to be easy if he’s miles along the coast.
39
Brides by the Sea, St Aidan, Cornwall
Rocks, hard places and home truths
Friday
After the weekend I make it clear to everyone that I’ve had my first and last date– in the world, ever– and then we carry on at full speed. We have another two lovely, tiny weddings with very sweet couples, one very young on Wednesday, the other in their seventies on Thursday, and as I rush between pick-ups and beach hut cleaning, I remind myself that once the autumn chill sets in the beach weddings will be over and I’ll have a whole winter ahead of me to catch up on my rest. I also spend a lot of the early hours lying awake thinking about how you know if you’re in love. Of all the ridiculous things to lose sleep over! I am truly not that kind of woman.
As for being busy, we haven’t got as far as analysing which parts of the publicity are driving the interest, but there are so many brides wanting dresses that Tia and I are in the shop early Friday morning prepping for a day of appointments. We’re checking through the dresses in the Seraphina East room, and as it’s only us here I finally seize the chance for a chat with Tia about what’s been driving me round the bend since the weekend.
‘Do you think a teenage crush could ever be love?’ I’m scooting round refilling the mother of the bride tissue holders when I ask that, then I stop and laugh. ‘Asking for a friend here, obviously. When Lando was pushing my buttons over the cream tea, he accused me of being in love but in denial, which I know is Lando bull, but it’s been buzzing round my brain ever since.’
Tia pulls out a dress and shakes out the gauzy layers of tulle. ‘Unrealistic obsessions with strangers aren’t about love, but you and Lando weren’t like that. My take is that you both fancied the pants of each other, but due to the age difference and the proximity, you held back.’ She’s grinning at me as she carries on. ‘Just think, if you two had taken those intense emotions to relationship level back in the day you could easily have turned out like Thom and me.’
I’m shaking my head. ‘More likely we’d have torn each other to pieces within an hour.’
Tia raises her eyebrows. ‘What was that you said about denial?’ Her face softens. ‘It was obvious at the time that you were both crazy about each other.’
I sigh. ‘I had no idea he liked me.’
Tia shakes her head. ‘Of course he did. Why else did he hang out in your living room twenty-four-seven for ten years?’
My voice rises. ‘How come you never said this before?’
‘Probably because you never asked.’ Tia wrinkles her nose. ‘You didn’t talk about it, because it made you feel vulnerable.’
Thinking about it, once Nemmie arrived, I confessed about the night at the beach hut, but I didn’t talk a lot about having the hots for Lando before that because it seemed so hopeless and embarrassing. Honestly, I’d have had more of a chance if I’d set my sights on Justin Bieber. That’s how unattainable he was and still is. It’s all irrelevant anyway. I’ve always known that if we’d done any more than hanging out while filling the dishwasher he’d have got bored of me in a nanosecond.
There’s a cough from the hall, and when we both whip round to look where it’s coming from there’s a figure in the doorway.
Tia gets her act together faster than me. ‘Athena! Lovely to see you. The doorbell usually rings as it opens. You’ve taken us by surprise!’
Athena’s dark gold waves are shining in a sun shaft. ‘Don’t worry, I did inadvertently catch a few words there, but nothing that made sense.’
I rush to explain. ‘I’m sorry if we seem unprofessional. My nine-year-old daughter sent me on my first date in ten years last weekend, and we were having a pre-work debrief.’
Athena’s face lights up. ‘That sounds fun!’
‘It was a disaster; there won’t be any more.’ I roll my eyes, then I hurry on. ‘You’re out bright and early, how can we help?’
Athena is clasping her hands together. ‘I know you’re super-busy, but I was passing unexpectedly and wondered if I could try some shoes before you open?’
Considering the amount she spent last visit, I’m guessing we’ll do anything she asks.
Tia smiles. ‘If you’re as decisive with shoes as you are with dresses, we can certainly squeeze you in.’ She leads the way to the end of the room and nods at the racks and glass cabinets. ‘These are a selection, see if there are any you like, and we can go from there.’
Athena nods enthusiastically. ‘Three or four pairs should take me through the day.’
I’m right behind her, fanning my face at the numbers. ‘We also have white wellies, and a selection of beach sandals too.’
Athena beams. ‘Let’s begin with those! Something flat, plain and silver please, suitable for sandy toes.’ She gives a sheepish glance. ‘I promise not to throw up this time. My tummy upset was a lot better once I took your colleague Poppy’s advice. She ran after me and suggested ginger tea.’
