This time it’s a crowd of retirement-age people, and after they’ve given Lando a quick glance they spend a long time admiring the lightness of my dress and reminiscing about when cowboy boots with summer dresses were on-trend first time around. And as they wander off, a new group steps into their place.
So much for thinking we’d whiz round town taking polaroids and be home in time for lunch; an hour later we still haven’t reached Crusty Cobs bakery.
When I glance at Lando, he’s scowling at the clouds. ‘If we want to stay dry, we need to speed this up.’
Nemmie’s smile is fixed. ‘BBC News South Westsaid sunshine all day.’
Tia coughs. ‘I thought we agreed not to argue?’
Nemmie sniffs. ‘It’s not an argument; I’m stating facts!’
Lando shrugs. ‘The ice creams are on you if we have to take cover.’
Tia waves her camera. ‘And when we finally get to the bakery, Brides by the Sea is buying the cakes.’
‘Anything except strawberry tarts, please.’
I’m remembering the first time we were here in our wedding clothes, but all my fears that day were completely justified; on balance it’s turned out way worse than anything I imagined then.
Tia sighs. ‘I hope no one is too hungry. There’s another group heading across.’
This time it’s a guy who makes the first approach. ‘You’re all over B&Q car park! I hope they got your permission?’
Lando nods. ‘We are, and they did.’
He nods. ‘When was your wedding?’
Nemmie jumps forward. ‘They’re not married. They’re models, showing off the outfits.’
The guy jabs Lando’s lapel with his finger. ‘So this is all fake?’
My mouth drops open, but nothing comes out.
Lando’s arm is already around my waist. ‘As Brides by the Sea’s couple of the summer, we’re doing the publicity first and the wedding later… if we’re still talking to each other.’
I appreciate he’s heading off a social media backlash, but my priority is to stay truthful for Nemmie.
I make my smile wide. ‘We’re simply old friends showing that St Aidan might be a cool place to get married.’ I catch the women looking at my wedding finger. ‘There’s no ring; we aren’t engaged.’
Lando cuts in. ‘She hasn’t said “yes” yet.’
I want to speak for myself here. ‘It’s unlikely I ever would.’
One of the women murmurs into my ear. ‘You make a lovely couple, whatever your intentions.’
The other woman pats my arm. ‘When he does persuade you, make sure he gets you a rock, my lovely!’
As they wander on, Nemmie snorts. ‘Sustainably sourced and unusual settings are way more important than size.’
I do a double-take. ‘Since when do you know about engagement rings?’
She shrugs. ‘Morning Livewas all about weddings while we were waiting for the weather. We thought we’d better listen, seeing we’re in the business now.’
There are times with Nemmie when all you can do is nod, but at least I have the satisfaction of seeing Lando’s jaw dropping too.
I shrug away from Lando’s hand, despairing at myself for ever letting it feel like a caress. ‘Great. Shall we get to the bakery before the wait gets too long?’
Lando gives me a look. ‘With thousands of extra people in town, good luck with that.’
