Lando turns on me. ‘Possessions don’t bring happiness in isolation, Maeve.’
I give a snort. ‘I’m not sure Sav would agree with you on that.’ This is the first inkling I’ve had that everything in the castle garden wasn’t totally rosy, so I put it in a ‘pending’ file to revisit later.
Tia flashes me a look and pulls a card from somewhere under her sweatshirt. ‘We appreciate the offer, Lando, but today is on Brides by the Sea.’
After ten years with no exchange of information, it’s hitting me that the gaps are vast, but I jump in to back up Tia. ‘In any case, we probably need you filming not shopping, Lando. Stay behind the camera, not in front of it.’ Then I slip my arm through Tia’s and guide her towards the window display. ‘Five seconds to get this, Lando. Any longer and there will be too much drool.’
It isn’t much more, and he’s soon calling, ‘Okay, all done.’
Tia’s already heading towards the door. ‘What are you going to have, Lando?’
Lando’s back to smiling. ‘To borrow from a very famous film, “I’ll have what she’s having.”’ He nods at me. ‘You were always queen of the cakes, Maevey. I hope that hasn’t changed?’
‘No surprise there. I’m still all about the sugar rush.’
As we push our way into the shop and the smell of fresh baking hits me, I’m anticipating more than the pastries. Lando definitely knows Nemmie exists now, and he’s also seen her face. If we’re talking about lines in the sand, he’s two closer in than he was.
I need to hold my nerve. So long as I get through the next twenty minutes, we can go back to where we were before. Nothing needs to change.
There’s a tiny voice in my head saying, ‘What if that doesn’t happen?’ but I squash it and follow the others towards the counter.
8
The Deck Gallery, St Aidan, Cornwall
All the pies in the sky
Tuesday
‘When there are white streaks on the sea like there are today, that means the wind is blowing at thirty miles an hour.’
Lando and I are leaning against the rail of the wooden terrace behind the Deck gallery, basking in a sun shaft and looking down over the patchwork of St Aidan rooftops to the turquoise sea beyond. If I’m talking for England, it’s so the conversation doesn’t veer off to other more dangerous areas.
Completely overlooking the shivery bits, I’d actually forgotten how it felt to be around Lando simply as a person. How civilised he is, how calm and reassuring, how easy he is to be around. That deep familiarity that comes from knowing someone well. For the first time in my life, I’m seeing him through adult eyes and thinking maybe this is why Sav spent so much time with him.
But then this is the trouble with Lando: he’s a lot more complex than he seems at first glance, and it’s about a lot morethan his family living in a castle. The Nancarrows own a lot of Falmouth, huge swathes of Devon and Cornwall, and large chunks of London too. He actually exists in a different stratosphere.
I take in Lando’s nod, then realise. ‘I probably got that information from you.’
He shrugs. ‘A very long time ago.’ He narrows his eyes and drops his voice. ‘I’ve missed you, Maevey.’
I feel my cheeks warm as his deep murmur reverberates through my chest and aim for a joke. ‘Like a hole in the head!’
He looks down at me. ‘Don’t dismiss it, I’m being sincere, Maeve. How’s life in St Aidan?’
I wrinkle my nose. ‘Still full of shells and seagull shit. The TikTok sea shanty craze hasn’t reached us yet. How about you?’
‘I still work in conservation, but my emphasis has changed.’ Another shrug. ‘While I was filling in on the forerunner to the Trillion Tree project, I accidentally discovered my superpower was sourcing the funding. I’ve pulled in billions across the world since, and now I head up an initiative matching projects and sponsors.’
And this is what I meant when I said he operates on a different level. This is why there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that we could ever be a couple, even less a family. He’s so far ahead, millions don’t even figure for him anymore. He’s global and connected and driven, flying so high he’s above the flightpaths. His self-belief is still off the scale, but it’s never fake or mis-founded; it’s based on being amazing and brilliant and starry, which is how he’s always been. Add in the confidence, polish and sheer natural talent that comes from being a Nancarrow, times that to the power of ten for the years he’s been away, and he’s on a level with Superman.
Whereas I’m the original Ms Ordinary. Even if I did ever catch him, I’d never keep him.
Where my horizons are small, his are galactic, and I’ve always known that. That’s why my teenage crush was so painful: because deep down I always knew it was hopeless. As an adult I understand it even more clearly on every level. I just wish someone would relay the message to my racing pulse. Although that could be my instinctive response to danger; honestly, I’d feel more relaxed being chased by a tiger.
There’s an old saying: ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ From where I’m standing, if you find someone super attractive but know a relationship with them would be doomed to fail, then why begin? It’s better for me to have stayed away and saved myself the disappointment.
And Lando’s unexpected declaration that he hates kids and has no intention of having a family has just added another layer of evidence to my case.
