‘That must have been a huge climb down with your family?’
He sighs. ‘My father and brothers didn’t make it easy for me to get the financial backing I needed to give help, and we had months of wrangling before they’d commit, but my motive was always to save you, not Sav.’
I swallow back my tears. ‘I know what that must have cost you.’
He shifts against me. ‘I was desperately hoping that coming here with a whole new purpose would give me a new perspective. And someone up there must have been watching over me, because hours after I sailed into the harbour Aunty Jess inadvertently handed me the reset I needed.’
I’m biting my lip as I remember. ‘I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was beyond worried because all these years on, you still make my tummy disintegrate.’
He frowns. ‘It was very tense at first. I was terrified I’d say the wrong thing or cause you problems. The day the kids came to the door, I ran rather than face them. Then, little by little, I found out they weren’t that scary. And then after that I was furious with myself for all the years I’d wasted. And in the meantime I was trying to reconcile your doubts and prove I was about more than my inheritance. And every day was torture, being dressed like I was about to marry you.’
I murmur, ‘It’s been the most bizarre summer.’
He carries on. ‘I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Maeve, and the more time I spend with you, the harder and deeper I fall. And it might look as if I didn’t care, but this time I’m not walking away. I used to worry I wouldn’t be able to love, but I have so much love for you and Nemmie that’s not a concern anymore. Whatever I have to do for us to be together, I’m ready to do that.’
I clench my fists on his chest, and dig deep for my final truth.
‘When I’m so ordinary and my world is so small, how could that ever be enough for you, Lando?’
He lets out a low whistle. ‘You’re quirky and very, very bright, and you’ve single-handedly made St Aidan’s summer. When I look at your world, I don’t see small. I see a place that’s stable and filled with love. Happiness for me is a warm kitchen, a pile of kids on the sofa, dogs with sandy paws bounding in from the beach and waffle mixture splattered up the windows.
‘But most of all, I want to come home to you. When you’re with me I feel complete. When you’re not, I feel like I’m constantly looking for something. I have so many weaknesses, but when I’m with you they don’t matter, because you fill in my gaps and put me right.’ He’s looking down at me, searching my face. ‘Have I said enough to reassure you? I can keep going all night, if not.’
I finally let out a laugh. ‘Even when you’re talking about less, you make it sound like more, Lando.’
His arms are locked around the small of my back. ‘That’s the way you make me feel. You always have.’ He still hasn’t smiled. ‘I accept our backgrounds are different, but I believe we can do this. I trust you more than anyone, Maevey, let’s do the best we can and make a family of our own.’
I wipe the tears away. ‘Is that why you bought the cottage?’
He looks at the stars. ‘I dared to hope you’d come and live there with me, that’s how much I love you. But if I can’t persuade you to make our life together, I would do whatever works best for you.’
The tension on his face is making my heart break. I throw my arms around his neck, and when he wraps his arms around me, I bury my face in the soft denim of his shirt and breathe in his scent.
‘I’ve cried all week thinking you might be going.’ I’m listening to his heart hammering behind his ribs. I squeeze him tighter and murmur, ‘The night we had here was the best night of my life.’
He laughs. ‘So you did like me a little, back then?’
I choke as I laugh. ‘You say you were crazy about me, but I was ten times crazier about you.’
Lando smiles. ‘It’s more than that. I probably fell in love with you the first time I saw you and I’ve loved you every day since.’
I laugh back at him. ‘I’ve loved you for what feels like forever, but I just didn’t know what to call it.’ I feel my smile grow. ‘I’ve spent the entire summer wanting to jump you, and I want to be able to do that every day.’
He pulls me into a kiss that’s sweet and deep and makes my whole body thrum, and for a long time the world stops turning. Eventually we pull apart, then go back for more, then do the same again.
The fifth time Lando murmurs in my ear, ‘So shall we stay here for old time’s sake. Or shall we go back to mine?’
‘To yours first. And then on to mine?’ I hand him the scan. ‘I’ll give this back to you. When you’ve kept it safe all these years, we mustn’t let it blow away into the sea.’
Lando slips it into his pocket, kisses me again, and then grins. ‘Do you need to warn the kids or your mum we’re coming back?’
I laugh. ‘If they wake up tomorrow and find I’ve sneaked you into my bedroom, they might not let you leave again. Ever!’
Lando laughs. ‘That’s fine by me.’ He laughs again.
It takes forever to walk along the beach because I keep stopping to kiss him. And stopping again to look to make sure he’s really mine. And to check he likes waffles. And eventually we get to Smugglers End, and I push him against the wall by the doorstep and snog his socks off, just because I can. And then we go inside, close the door, and tear off each other’s clothes.
OCTOBER
