It seems a bit ambitious, but I attempt a nod. ‘Imagine if that deluge had cascaded onto a wedding.’ It’s such an awful image I can’t actually make my mind flash it up. ‘And apart from some soggy stationery, and the dresses needing a trip to Iron Maiden’s cleaners, no one lost too much.’
He’s nodding. ‘All thanks to your quick thinking getting everyone to help with the evacuation. You definitely have a gift for averting crises.’
I manage a faint smile. ‘I’m not sure about that.’ I mean, I was the one who had the brilliant idea to site the ethical barbecue right next to the open door where the sprinkler smoke detector was.
‘Anyway, now we’re here there’s something more important I want to clear up.’ He lets out a breath. ‘This whole upcoming wedding of Pixie’s is so stressful, I can’t cope with you being distant too. I want to go back to how we were before.’
‘Before what?’
‘Before you stopped laughing and turned into Mrs Freezer Pants.’
This is all my fault for not being more guarded at the start; I went in way too casually and now it’s impossible to backtrack. ‘You seem to be forgetting that what we have is a professional working relationship, Nic.’
He lets out a snort. ‘I know originally I didn’t want to work with you because you were too pretty …’
I let out a squawk. ‘What total bollocks! You rejected me due to my lack of qualifications.’ That could have been put in a more office-y way too, but it’s too late now.
His lips are a straight line. ‘That may have been an excuse. I wasn’t sure I could see you crossing your legs every day without thinking of the kittens on your pyjamas. I might not want a long-term girlfriend but I’m still a guy. For my own self-preservation, I was simply trying for someone less drop-dead sexy.’
I let my groan go. ‘All of that – so not appropriate.’
He shrugs. ‘I’m simply being honest so we can get back on track. I thought planning a wedding was going to be awful, but we ended up having fun and I want that to carry on. It’s a great stress buster.’
I blow out my cheeks, because I have to stand my ground on this. ‘For the sake of the shop’s reputation, I can’t be seen to be …’ I hesitate to use the word, then I let it go anyway. ‘… flirty or over-familiar with clients.’ That last bit made it more how Phoebe would have put it.
His eyes narrow. ‘But it can’t possibly be flirting with me, because we’re both very clear that I don’t do relationships.’
‘Right.’ I’m not sure it is.
‘Flirting’s completely the wrong word anyway, with us it’s just banter – that’s what mates have, isn’t it?’ His face lights up. ‘If you keep me entertained at the same time as you make Pixie’s choices, it will be so much easier.’
I’m not sure where he’s going with this.
He’s spreading his fingers on the table. ‘You just be your normal, hilarious self, and I’ll be my usual serious self with an ironic twist. Maybe with a bit of heckling too.’ He stares at me. ‘So, are we happy that’s how we’ll take things forward?’
I sigh. ‘We’ll give it a try.’ That’s as much as he’s getting for now. Truly, if I’m even a tiny bit funny, I’m definitely not hilarious.
‘And one more thing …’ He’s really making the most of grabbing the reins here. ‘I shouldn’t have to practically abduct you to get you to eat with me. I should be able to suggest a casual working lunch without you running for the hills. Okay?’
‘Nic …’ I’m staring him straight in the eye – then when my stomach dissolves, wishing I wasn’t. ‘There are lines, you just crossed a hell of a lot of them.’
His lips twist. ‘I’m about to cook you light and fluffy pancakes. Surely you can say “yes” better than that?’
I think being on the boat must have gone to his head. ‘Does “Aye aye, captain” work for you?’
‘Keep going.’
‘Aye aye, Captain Kirk.’
He’s looking suitably pleased. ‘And now that’s settled, tell me what’s going on with the ring.’
Oh crap. ‘Surely your gluten must have hydrated by now? If you leave it too long your lumps will relapse.’
‘Nice try, Milla Vanilla, the batter will be fine. I thought we just agreed to be open and honest.’
I’m not sure we did, but I might as well get this over. And if there’s an opportunity to get back in the driving seat I might as well take it. ‘Listen up, because it’s complicated and I’m only saying this once, okay?’
He nods. ‘Fine.’
