22.
No ski boots …
If my trip to the Fun Palace taught me anything, it’s that I shouldn’t pre-judge – I should always be ready to be astonished.
I suspect they’ve been sheltered from anything tacky or commercial, but instead of standing back and looking disgusted, Willow’s three hurled themselves in amongst the plastic balls with whoops and jumps, and none of them imploded into ectoplasm due to the toxicity.
As soon as we got our drinks Willow took me off to one side, sipping her still water in a glass bottle through a paper straw. She then dipped into her bag, and devised me my own personal cocktail of flower essence drops. Apparently it was designed to give me an instant post fall-over lift, treat the shock of me exposing my ripped-up face to the entire rink, fight the bruising on my bum, and balance my chakras too.
You have to admit, however much a fan of rescue remedy etc. you are, it’s a lot to ask from a few teensy drops of liquid. But I was happy to go along with it. Having someone take an interest in me in such a quiet and thoughtful way was probably as beneficial as a bit of water with petals dissolved in it. Did I feel special? Yes I did. As for whether I would I recommend it, I’ll let you know on that one.
When we were finished and Willow went up to take on the menu and the kitchen staff and attempt to order lunch her elbows were sticking out and pointy. But she was back in record time, because it turned out the Crab and Pilchard are big on vegan and veggie options. The vegan beetroot burgers she chose actually looked more meaty than the steak burgers. Just saying. Obviously they weren’t.
For my personal challenge, once I’d got my flower essence on board, to pass the time until I was called up for duties with Oscar or Harriet I decided to hunt down as many tasteful photo opportunities as I could, expecting I’d be lucky to get a couple. But once I looked past the really crappy foil-covered cardboard buckles on the staff plimsolls and began zooming in, all I can say is, someone in St Aidan is seriously into their Scandi chic.
Okay, the chunky red and cream hand knit cushions are piled a bit too thickly on the window seats for the true Stockholm simplicity purists but Nordic maximalism as done at the Crab and Pilchard gives a whole new meaning to Christmas cosy. I got enough pretty wood and woolly detail shots to keep Libby going all next Christmas as well as this one. When you come across a driftwood Christmas tree on the bar, totally covered in mini hanging sheep with twigs for legs, you don’t thinkWhat the Hygge? you just thinkWhat’s not to love?
While we were skating Libby had disappeared off up the hill and taken bird’s eye views of us skating on the rink between the cottages higher up, which were really effective. And she’s certain that the skater close ups of her scarf and hats she uploaded will send her last minute pre-Christmas stocking-filler sales off the scale. Meanwhile, back at the Crab and Pilchard, I gave the Santa and his reindeer a wide berth for my very own good reasons, but Merwyn was entranced. Tiff took this really funny clip of him nodding his head as he watched the animated Santa moving up and down.
It turned out to be one of those rare days when no one had any expectations, but everyone found a bit of what they liked. And I was no exception. By late afternoon when we got back to the castle and I dragged the boxes of charity shop deccies into the kitchen, instead of rolling their eyes Willow’s kids pounced on them, and began to sort them into colours. Then they went off into the family areas and started to make the kind of rainbow shaded decorated tree they’d seen at the Crab and Pilchard, which is exactly what I’ve wanted to have atDanielsfor years. Except, with the baubles all being slightly different instead of all the same, the effect is going to be stunning.
So seeing they were doing so well with those on their own, with Willow’s help – while also watching the DVD of101 Dálmatas, which is exactly what it says on the tin except in Spanish, and so acceptable for educational reasons rather than being dismissed as cultural crap – I decided to get on with making some tree deccies for my room. I’d rather Bill didn’t know this, but using his beautiful starry gin labels as a starting point, I take some scissors and some sheets of paper I ordered the night I hit on pink and orange as my theme colours. Then I sit down at the table in the kitchen with Merwyn at my feet to make some origami paper stars.
This is just for me. First I make a pentagon template and when I’ve cut out a pile from each colour, I begin to fold. I know I shouldn’t be saying it, but as they pile up the small folded stars are looking unbelievably sweet.
Tiff and Tansy are sorting through the bauble boxes next to me and Tiff reaches over, picks one up and gives that superior sniff thing she does, which I must say I mind a lot less since she stuck up for me earlier today. Then she simply says, ‘They’re pretty.’
Well, I said it was a day of surprises. I pick my jaw up off the floor, and smile at her. ‘They’re easy to do, I could show you how to make them if you like?’
Tiff nods. ‘We could make silver stars for Mum’s tree. And if we make some for ours out of newspaper, we’ll be saving the world even more than the Twiglets.’ There’s definitely some worthiness rivalry going on here, but whatever the reason, I can work with it.
‘Great.’ For once it is. In fact it’s more than that. Absolutely bloody astonishing and brilliant wouldn’t be over stating it as I show them the shapes to cut, and the folds. ‘You can make them bigger or smaller, just try a few and see which you like.’
They come with me to the laundry for some silver and rose gold paper and we pick up a stack of Ambie’s oldTelegraphnewspapers there too. Then I show them what to do again, they tell me how I can do it better, and after that we cut and fold to the usual soundtrack of Christmas tunes.
Tiff makes a couple then she holds one up and looks at me. ‘You’ve still got your hat on.’
I stop my folding and look up at her. ‘And?’
‘You don’t have to wear it for us any more, we all know what’s under it now.’ She sniffs. ‘In any case that scar of yours is nothing like as bad as you think it is.’
Tansy’s backing her up. ‘You can believe us, we talk the truth not bollocks.’
I smile at them. ‘Well thanks for that. Maybe I’ll try without.’ It’s the last thing I feel like doing. But they’re children, they’re putting the effort in, I want to meet them half way here. As I take off my hat, and shake my fingers through my hair I’m feeling very exposed and strangely bare. But at the same time they’re right. Everyone knows, everyone’s already had a ringside view, what the hell does it matter anyway. ‘How’s that?’ I shake out my side fringe as much as I can.
Tiff nods. ‘Much better.’ She’s narrowing her eyes. ‘If you like we could try some of our make up later. We’ve got loads, manufacturers send us it all the time because we vlog.’
‘Really?’ The make up girls atDanielsoffered, but somehow I never wanted to let them see, I was always waiting for it to get better.
Tansy’s chipping in. ‘We get free stuff all the time.’
Tiff sighs as if it’s nothing. ‘The industry is huge, we’re their direct channel to the future generation of make up users.’ Then she turns to me. ‘For you it’s all about confidence. The best vlogs are the ones that help people, it would be really good to vlog about making you feel better – that’s if you didn’t mind being our guinea pig.’
It’s the last thing I’d want. But she’s eleven, which makes it easier. There’s no expectation because it’s like playing. ‘Maybe.’ I’m tempted to ask if their guinea pigs get animal rights, but I manage to hold it in.
Tiff’s nodding. ‘You’ll see, there’s absolutely nothing to be scared of.’ She’s as persuasive as her mum. ‘We’ll do some skin tone tests later, if we don’t get it right straight away I’ll email the technical department and ask for some specialist concealing products, they’re very helpful.’
‘Right. That sounds brilliant.’ I’m not joking. ‘I can’t believe you’re so knowledgeable.’
