I send him a look. ‘Is there a problem with that?’
‘There wouldn’t be normally …’ it sounds like there’s a but coming ‘… but as you’ve got donkey droppings dangling off your pompom, not to mention the other random crusty bits clinging to the woolly parts, maybe you best jump out while we’re stopped. You can shake off the worst and put it in the bag too.’
‘Shit, sorry.’ Here’s me thinking it can’t possibly get any more embarrassing or impossible, then it does. My heart’s tumbling in my chest because I’d really rather not go without my hat. But I can’t exactly sit here with donkey crap all over my head.
‘If you’re cold you can turn up the heater, or put your hood up instead.’
‘Great suggestion … I’ll do that … like right now.’ I’m stalling. It’s not going to be anything like as sure as my bobble hat for holding my hair in place, but at least it’s the cleaner option. And sitting with my antlers up is the last thing I’d choose, but there’s no dodging this one. I fling the door open and jump down to do the switch. I pull off my woolly hat and a second later, I flip the hood up. Then I shake the worst off the woolly hat, clamber back in and push it into the bin bag with my jacket. Now all I have to do is to hang onto the neck of my onesie so the hood doesn’t slide down, and hold down my breakfast until we get back to the castle.
The umpteenth time Bill glances my way, I challenge him. ‘And what the hell’s so interesting over here?’
‘Nothing.’ He’s completely lying.
‘What’s wrong with my antlers?’ That’s where he keeps glancing.
He’s smiling to himself now, as if he’s very far away. ‘They just reminded me of another time, that’s all. How cute they are.’
I’m going to have to tell him. ‘Bill, I’m only going to say this once. Don’t ever put the word cute and me together in the same sentence, okay?’
‘What, even if you are?’
I drag in a breath. ‘Especially then.’
‘But antlers always look …’ As he takes in my searing glare he shuts up.
I’m clutching the fabric under my chin, totally oblivious to the sun glistening off the sea and how pale blue it is today as we head along the road by the beach. And talking randomly to fill the space when it hits me. ‘You didn’t call Merwyn cute when he was wearing his antlers the other day. You’re thinking about Gemma aren’t you?’
The way he jumps at the sound of her name, he has to be. ‘Actually you’re wrong, I’m not.’
‘So why did she rush back to London?’ It’s out there before I know. And jeez knows why, when I really have no interest other than not thinking about bloody reindeer costumes. I mean, it seems idyllic here. If you had the choice, I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to stay here forever.
‘It’s a very long story, remind me to tell it to you some day when we have a few hours to spare.’
My heart sinks, because I’m really not up for details. ‘Can we please just get back to the castle and forget we ever had this conversation.’
He’s tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, wrenching it around the last corner. ‘Fine. In that case you can tell me why you mixed up all the aftershaves last time you were in my bathroom.’
To think I thought my biggest problem was being covered in donkey dung and having the worst flashbacks yet. Now I’m going to have to think of an answer for that.
