Tom lets out an incensed squawk. ‘What?’ He’s staring straight at me. ‘Tellherto takehersoff first, then I might.’
Libby’s snipping back at him. ‘Leave Ivy out of this, she has a very valid excuse to wear her hat.’ And I really wish she hadn’t said that.
There’s a chorus. ‘Whydoes she?’
And damn that they’re all staring at me now as my hands creep up to my head and pull the woolly edge further down. ‘My hat’s my thing, that’s all.’ Despite the sudden focus that’s all they’re getting.
There’s a cough from Miles. ‘Still waiting for my answer here … forget the hats, I’m just not sure how happy my dad will be when he seesall the messyou’re making with hot chocolate inhisChristmas rental?’
‘I assume you’re here to see Ambrose?’ Libby’s voice is back to pearly smooth. ‘To put it in context, he’s here as a guest of my mother, Miranda … who is here becauseIinvited her.’
‘Right, okay, got that.’ Miles takes a step backwards and as his jaw sags he slams his hand on his head. ‘How did I get my wires so tangled? And here I am, barging in like I own the place, I’m so sorry, what must you think of me?’
Libby couldn’t be any more chilled. ‘It’s fine, it’s an easy mistake to make, it could happen to any of us.’ It absolutely isn’t and it wouldn’t. Which suggests she’s picking up on the whole dreamboat thing too.
‘And Bill said those two are “otherwise engaged”.’ The lines on Miles’s forehead deepen. ‘Has there actually been a proposal?’
‘Not that we know of.’ Libby’s nostrils flare. ‘He means it’s a choice of two activities – they’ll either be dissolving in the hot tub, or bonking the bottom off their new four poster.’
Tansy’s smirking behind her hand. ‘You said not to say bonking.’
Tarkie’s hitting her elbow. ‘What’s bonking again?’
Miles is bashing on. ‘Well, that’s all good then. And it looks like the most fabulous place you’ve got here. If you could possibly find a corner for an extra elf inthemost ridiculous boots, just until tomorrow, I’d be very grateful to you. Forever.’
Libby’s half closing one eye. ‘And are you here on your own, or do you have a whole elf family with you too?’
‘No, it’s just me. Travelling solo … again.’
He’s cocking a self mocking eyebrow at me, and I’m smiling and waggling my head back at him when my heart dives. Solo, meaning on his own? If this is my plus one arriving, scrub the bit about jumping fences, I’ll be running … as fast as I can … away.
Libby takes a deep breath. ‘There’s a free room up the back stairs next to Ivy’s, she’ll show you the way up. Anyone dressed in surf pants will bring your bags in for you.’
Worse and worse. I close down my smile and dive for cover. ‘I hope you like dogs, this is Merwyn.’ As Merwyn backs against my legs and flashes me a filthy look, I’m feeling guilty for dodging behind him.
‘Better and better.’ As Miles’s smile broadens we can all see his teeth are as great as the rest of the package. They’re also so even and dazzlingly unnatural he has to have had a little help with them. ‘If you two are up for an early morning stroll on the beach, just give me a knock.’
Bumping shoulders, picking up shells, dodging the curl of the waves as they roll up the beach, next to a smile full of dental veneers that’s been pre-planned for me? As a measure of how appalled I am by that thought, I’d rather ski.
But in the breath it takes me to decide that, Merwyn’s gone rogue.
Miles is scratching Merwyn’s head and tickling the silky bits of his ears exactly the way he likes it. Two seconds and Merwyn’s lapping it up like Miles is his new best friend. Seeing as I rely on him as my main ally here, that’s not the best news for me.
As Miles eases up on the tickling his voice is eager. ‘If you need wood, I can get that in too.’
With Merwyn the cuteness is all to do with his ‘what the eff’ glances. Miles is suddenly channelling puppy dog charm by the bucketful too, but his is all about enthusiasm, super-heartfelt looks, and eagerness to please. And it’s certainly working with Libby.
‘Thanks Miles, wood would be great.’ When she breaks off there’s the smallest softest sound that might be a laugh. But it’s the first since she came. ‘Wood-would, you see what I did there?’
‘We did.’ The appreciative smile that spreads across his face is offered up to all of us. He’s holding up a finger. ‘One more thing. I’m Miles at work, but to the family – and since we’re practically related now, that means all of you too – I’m Milo.’
Milo … that’s ten times more puppyish and so much worse.
Realistically, if Miles slash Milo can march in trying to claim Libby’s castle, then not only escape her wrath but thaw her within a sentence, this man has hidden powers. Or looking at him more closely again – not-so-hidden ones. Which could mean we’re all in trouble here. For all the reasons.
Not that I’d ever be tempted back into a relationship. But I’m really hoping he’s shit in the kitchen.
