When Bill doesn’t leap in to put her right, I send her a grin. ‘It’s all in the chilling. We’re onto icing next.’
Then I take in Bill’s wince as he looks over at Harriet. ‘Bill, they’re kids, they’re here, they won’t be leaving for another two weeks. Just get over yourself!’
Strangely he doesn’t reply, he just blinks.
Fliss pulls a face at me, then she lets out a sigh. ‘If all my hands weren’t spoken for, I’d offer to help.’
I’m explaining for Bill’s benefit, and moving this on now I’ve said my piece. ‘I’m shortbread queen, Fliss is empress of the piping bag.’
Fliss joins in. ‘Not quite. That was in my life BK.’
Bill’s eyes narrow. ‘B what?’
‘Before kids. These days I’m the empress of disarray, swirly icing is a dim and distant memory.’
‘Awww, it’s not that bad, sweetie.’ Except we both know most days it’s worse. She’s already extended her maternity leave twice and neither of us know how the hell she’s going to get back toDanielsin the New Year. Then as I stare at Bill I’m suddenly remembering what I forgot. ‘You do have a piping bag?’
‘Do bears poop in forests?’ Bill’s raising an eyebrow at me. When Oscar overhears, breaks into peals of laughter and starts careering round the kitchen whooping about poop, however much I tell him not to, Bill’s wincing again. ‘All the icing equipment’s in the drawers below the cutters.’ Which sounds like yet more culinary maximalism. Whoever removed every last object from the castle must have overlooked the kitchen.
Fliss is staring at Bill. ‘You seem like a natural with the small ones, how about you clown around while I whizz up some icing?’
I don’t know where the hell she’s got that idea from. It might sound mean, but I’d rather he left us to it. Him scowling every time the kids make a squeak is frankly a bit of a downer.
‘Don’t you have work to do … figures to go through … stuff to distil?’ I’m hurling in every last option in the hope he’ll get the hell out of here. Obviously I’m super-grateful for him saving me with his expertise earlier, but now we’re moving on.
‘What with all the fires to keep going and bakers who need unsticking …’ He’s frowning. ‘With everyone arriving, you’re my priority now.’
Wrong answer. Damn.
Fliss is sounding brighter than I’ve heard her for ages. ‘So does that mean you’d be up for five minutes playing with Oscar?’
If she’d offered him a hand grenade to play with he couldn’t look any more horrified. I had no idea she’d be in there so fast, so I’m stepping in for every reason. ‘As kids go Oscar and Harriet are hardly a beginner’s ride, they’d probably leave Bill for dead before we had the icing sugar weighed.’ I let out a sigh. ‘You do the icing, Fliss, this one’s mine.’
