It’s one of those awful times when we should be running but instead everyone’s feet are welded to the floor. We’re all standing, staring at the sign, when the handle begins to rattle. A second later the door bursts open and one electric purple furry mule appears, followed by Miranda yanking on the ties of her slinky pink leopard-print dressing gown.
‘Sound proof? It’s nothing of the bloody kind! We could hear every word you lot said, talk about wrecking the moment!’ She’s tousling her curls with her fingers, chortling as she sweeps her smile along the row of chair carriers. ‘No harm done, I forgive you, but only because you’re all so sun tanned, strong and handsome.’ As she pauses to let the full effect of her charm seep in, her gaze has stopped short of Bill. ‘I’m Miranda, by the way. So do any of you hot hunks fancy making me a tea? Or joining me for a dip in the tub?’
Looking along the line of jaws on the floor, if I don’t whisk them away fast I’ll lose my entire work force. ‘Not right now, we’re off to the top floor, we’ll have to catch you later.’
She rounds on me as she sweeps towards the staircase. ‘Don’t forget me, sweetheart, I’m dying to get stuck in remember.’
‘Great.’ I knew I could count on her. ‘I was thinking garlands for the …’ But she’s already gone.
As the others trundle on up the next flight of stairs Keef the reef’s patting me on the arm. ‘We’ll shift the rest of this furniture then get straight on with the trees. Don’t you worry, Ivy, we surfies travel with fairy dust, your castle will be sparkling by tonight.’ He sends me a wink. ‘And not a ghost in sight, I promise.’
Bill’s still choking into his sleeve. ‘Nights in a haunted castle, I’m definitely missing a trick there.’
Obviously I don’t reply to that. But if this is the beginning, I’m seriously doubting we’re going to make it as far as the end.
