I’m with him on that. ‘Especially not the kids, or they’ll be in there twenty-four seven.’
It was a throw away thought, but I’m delighted I said it, if only to enjoy the horror spreading across his face. ‘There areKIDS?’
‘Only nine of them.’
His voice rises to a shriek. ‘But we let to adults, nothing about this castle is child-friendly.’
I shrug and try to look less shocked than I feel. ‘Another bit of small print you should have checked before you grabbed the cash. It’s too late now, they’re coming, you’ll have to upgrade accordingly.’ If he’s a dog hater and a child hater, I can’t imagine how this will ever work out. No wonder the place is so bare and lacking in any traces of emotional warmth. Whatever I picked up on all those years ago, I got him totally wrong. The man obviously has no empathy at all.
But at the same time I’ve made two unexpected leaps forward. There’s actually no need for Bill to hide anywhere, because how many of Libby’s friends will have their own dedicated wood delivery person? I’m wondering how Bill would feel about smartening up a bit so we could pass him off as a butler in a few of the photos.
Now I’m sensing I’ve got the upper hand, I’m throwing it all out there. ‘So what about the deccies, then?’
This time his groan’s louder still. ‘I’m a straight guy, I struggle garnishing a cocktail. Ask me to tinsel up a castle, I haven’t got the foggiest where to begin.’ Which proves he knows one twinkly word, so he’s notquiteas clueless as he’s claiming.
‘There are always attics rammed with cast-offs in the houses by the sea in Enid Blyton books.’ The more I think about it, the more it goes with the territory. And if we’re stuck with an arrogant arse like Bill, who’s so far failing miserably with this let, we might as well make the most of whatever trappings we can get our hands on. ‘Don’t you have a loft we could plunder?’
‘You know the top floor’s full of bedrooms.’ That’s it. Then he takes a deep breath and wrinkles his nose. ‘Thereissome of the old tat we pulled out of the castle – that’s over in the coach house, but I swear none of it’s usable.’
I sit up straighter. ‘You’ll be surprised what you can make use of when the going gets tough. And Christmas trees would make a huge difference too. It’s my job to make things look pretty, if you’d stop channelling your inner Scrooge, I’msurewe could sort this. Believe me, anything that stops Libby having a meltdown will be more than worth the effort. She and the kids are arriving late Sunday. If we work our socks off from now until then, we can turn this around.’
Bill rolls his eyes, then does another shudder at the mention of the children. ‘When you put it like that, what are you waiting for?’
Time for me to drop my very own bombshell. ‘I can only stay if Merwyn does.’
‘Why did I ever start this?’ Bill’s growling through gritted teeth. ‘You’ll have to keep him out of the distillery. The kids too.’
‘Obviously. Merwyn hates distilleries anyway.’ I’m not going to admit that yet again I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. What distillery?
Bill looks as if he’s close to having smoke coming out of his nostrils and his ears. ‘Fine.’ It’s obviously nothing of the kind, but this is his bed, he made it, he has to lie in it, or however the saying goes. ‘I’m not happy, but you’ve got me over a barrel here – Merwyn can stay.’
And finally, a result! ‘Did you hear that Merwyn, you got your invitation to Christmas at the castle!’ I let him snaffle his chocolate drop, and he’s so ecstatic that he leaps up on the sofa, jumps straight onto my knee and smothers me in sloppy doggy kisses.
Bill’s face is crumpling in distaste. ‘Two conditions – no dogs on the sofas and definitely no dogs on the beds.’
It’s not that we aren’t going to be respectful. But Merwyn and I both know, Bill’s in no position to make rules here. And the faster he realises that, the better we’ll all get on.
As for me, there was a train wreck roaring towards me at a hundred miles an hour and somehow I’ve managed to avert it. It’s not that I care about this for myself, it’s more that I want to make things perfect for Fliss and Libby and everyone else who’s coming down. It’s going to be a huge challenge to keep this on track. It’s going to be hideous doing this with Bill around. But right now, with three days ahead of me, an empty castle, and carte blanche to fill it with Christmas, I couldn’t feel any more focussed on the job in hand.
I whistle Merwyn, then beam across at Bill. ‘So where’s this coach house then?’
