Nell clamps her lips shut. ‘Youdidn’thear that from me. But yes.’ Her eyes are shining. ‘It’s so much more special forallof us if it happens at yours rather than the hotel, Clemmie.’
‘Wow. No pressure there then.’ Now we’re all crammed together there are teasing wafts of Charlie’s scent coming from the faded folds of his T-shirt.Warm skin on a summer day. Sizzling man on a blistering afternoon.I take a deep breath, pinch myself so I can really believe this is happening. ‘Great. Well, we can’t stay here all day chatting, some of us have jewelry to unpack. Not to mention dinners to prepare.’
I pull away from the group then as I glimpse the ginger blur surrounding the guy coming in the door I fly straight back into the huddle. ‘Super frig, don’t all look at once but sodding Joe Marlow just walked in.’
23
At Plum’s gallery
Friendly faces and walks in the park
Tuesday afternoon
‘Jeez, when you said total look-alikey you weren’t joking, were you?
Nell takes a small step backwards and peers past Charlie’s elbow to where Joe’s walking into the gallery, hands in the pockets of his jeans. ‘His spotted shirt is almost the same as that blue spotted dress of yours. With at least as many creases too. Okay, I’m going to shut up now. Everyone disperse slowly and act natural.’ She clamps her eyes closed, shakes her head. Then she snaps them open and waltzes away for a second round of rubbernecking.
I give her a sharp poke in the ribs as she passes me. ‘There’s nothing “natural” about your eyes standing out on stalks.’
Plum’s hissing at me as she heads for the desk. ‘You didn’t tell me he washot. Sod the shirt, it’s the forearms I’m appreciating.’
I don’t believe what I’m hearing. ‘Youknowbrothers are off limits.’ As of earlier this year they are anyway. ‘That includeshalf-brothers too.’
A few years back, Sophie’s little sister got together with Plum’s big brother in a flowerbed outside the Rum and Crab during a New Year’s Eve pub crawl. At the time, we were all delighted, then when they got a flat together in London we were literally whooping because it was such a great way to unite the mermaid families. But lately they’ve been arguing, and that’s turned out to be agonising and divisive for everyone. Hence the recent ruling.
More worryingly, Plum and I have never been the type of women who fancy the pants off every second guy we see. We’re both much pickier than that. As Plum says, it takes someone spectacular to give her what she calls a ‘fanny flutter’. As teenagers when we’d lie on the beach together eyeing up the talent, Nell would be the one pretending not to look because she always had a boyfriend, Sophie would be letting out orgasmic whoops every minute, while Plum and I lay in silence. Plum once estimated that only one guy in ten thousand did it for her, but since I spent six months in Paris without seeing anyone I fancied, I reckon it’s more like one in a hundred million for me. Worse still, I can see Joe’s pushed her buttons by the way she’s pouting without even knowing she’s doing it. Although for Plum it would only ever be a one night stand. But even having that thought brings a bit of sick into my mouth.
From the way Nell’s wiggling towards us she could be dancing to her ring tone. ‘He’s at ten to two now and heading this way.’ She’s singing the words through clenched teeth.
As a trickle of sweat runs down my neck, I’ve got a split-second choice. Dive for cover and risk being spotted hiding with my bum sticking out a mile behind the rotating card stand. Or do a mahoosive, look-at-me wave and hope I’m not seen as myself. Before I even know I’ve decided, my arm’s in the air. If I was an aircraft marshal on the tarmac at Heathrow, my hand flap couldn’t be bigger.
‘Hi, Joe, over he-e-e-e-e-re.’ As my shout echoes down the gallery and Joe turns our way I step up the wave. I’m halfway through yelling, ‘Remember me, I’m Clemmie’ when Charlie’s deck shoe lands on my toe and shuts me up.
Beside me Charlie lets out a sigh. ‘I can’t face lying all over again, Clems. Leave Joe to me, I’ll take him for a drink.’ It wasn’t just the lying. Last time also meant squishing me under his arm and pretending to be my boyfriend. No one can blame him for wanting to dodge that. Personally, I can’t face shivers like that again either. Although this could be Charlie swooping in to whoosh Joe away before he gives too much away about their Siren House deal.
Plum’s hands are on her hips. ‘And we’ll provide back up. Won’t we, Nell?’ She’s off across the rough hewn boards faster than Diesel after Pancake. Charlie sets off down the gallery, talking over his shoulder as he goes. ‘Right, Clems, stand by with the rolling pin and flour sifter. I’ll pick up everything we need. Be ready at yours at three.’
Nell grins at me. ‘It seems a shame to miss out on the introductions. Would you mind if I …?’ As she hesitates, her pleading expression is as full on as Diesel’s when he’s asking for cake.
I take pity on her. ‘Go on, you might as well.’ Let’s face it, everybody else has.
The last time a visitor got this much attention in St Aidan was when a shark washed up just along the coast and entire population rushed down to the beach. I remember seeing the Facebook posts when I was in Barcelona. Ten minutes later when Plum comes back, if I didn’t know better I’d swear her cheeks had the same glow mine did when Charlie came down her stairs. And it’s nothing to do with the outside temperature.
She’s rubbing her hands. ‘So that went well. Charlie’s taken Joe off to The Harbourside for a light lunch.’
Plum’s smile stretches from ear-stud to ear-stud. ‘I offered to show him around any time he’d like, and to be a friendly face at events.’ She pulls a face as she takes in my horrified glare. ‘Well, someone’s got to keep an eye on him. That would be in a hands-off, platonic, sisterly capacity. Obviously.’ Or not so obviously, from where I’m standing seeing she seems to have suddenly got boobs where she never had any.
‘So on balance is that a positive outcome? Or not?’ Sometimes I don’t know what to think.
Nell butts in, waving her phone. ‘Oh, and for the cupcakes, special request, came through while we were talking back there. Lemon with blackberry icing. Charlie knows to get the ingredients.’
‘Great.’ I’m hoping I wasn’t overconfident about my capabilities back there – but I’m suddenly wondering how the frig I’m going to pull off the complications of a three-course candlelit dinner?
24
In Clemmie’s kitchen
Hand stands and forward rolls
