It’s a relief that’s the worst he suspects. ‘Really?’ My head’s spinning and I’m aching for the music not to start again. Ever.
His voice is low again. ‘My secret is I don’t mind at all.’ Jeez, he must be so drunk.
I gulp and laugh at the same time.
‘If you’d like to snog me I’d like that. That’s two secrets already.’
I’ve got a nanosecond here to decide at most. I swallow, and take a huge breath. Then his hand comes around the back of my head, and without me doing anything at all my lips are dipping towards his. The butterflies in my chest are going so wild I’m in the middle of worrying I’m going to throw up here. Then there’s a sharp tug on my hair, my arm is wrenched out of its socket and the next minute I’m sailing through the air. As I sprawl backwards onto Diesel’s shaggy wool rug there’s a flash of flamingo pink. As I stare upwards a skimpy fuchsia frill wraps itself around Charlie’s ears, and a bright blonde head descends as Dakota goes in for the kill.
Her bright red lips suck onto Charlie’s face and I let out a groan. ‘Oh my days, it’s not even as if her lippy matches her dress.’
‘For frigg’s sake … are you okay, Clemmie?’ Plum’s Converse leap in next to me and she grabs my hand and hauls me back up onto my wedges.
As Debbie Harry starts singing ‘Heart of Glass’, everyone on the chairs leaps up again. Sophie’s in there hauling Dakota off, and firmly helping a wide-eyed Charlie to his feet. As I coax my feet into action and we stagger towards the kitchen island, Sophie catches us up and flings her arm around me.
She’s talking through gritted teeth. ‘That woman is out of order, if this was my party I’d eject her.’ Her voice is high with indignation. ‘Those were tai chi moves she used there. That’s meant to be for inner mind and body balance, not bashing people up, I’ve a good mind to report her.’
Plum’s smiling. ‘If you were in charge, Soph, you’d have barred her the first night for snatching puddings, remember?’
They’re so cross on my behalf, I haven’t the strength to add to it. I feel like someone pulled out half my insides and ran off with them. But at the same time, maybe I was saved from myself there. Talk about in the heat of the moment. That was a moment so heated I managed to overlook I was about to snog the face off the drunk guy who’s got so much integrity, he’s helping my half-brother screw over my best friend. And if I had gone there, the balcony would have been out of bounds forever more due to the embarrassment. All of which is true, but doesn’t stop me feel any less gutted.
Plum’s brushing invisible specks off her paint splashed denims. ‘It looks like Nell’s taking that as a cue to start clearing up. From the cluster of volunteers around the dish washer area, it looks like the ship’s crew are getting a late but very warm mass welcome.’
I scour the room, and give a silent curse. ‘There’s no sign of Charlie or Dakota.’
Sophie’s straight onto that. ‘Clearing off the moment there’s work to be done. No surprise there then.’ She gives a disparaging sniff, but this time she’s wrong. On normal baking days, even though there isn’t a dishwasher, Charlie sticks around until every last spoon has been put away. Although as this is more our party than his, this isn’t strictly his mess to clear. Anyone not in the kitchen area is bouncing around by the chairs, yelling at the top of their voices, thumping the air to the Killer’s ‘Mr Brightside’ chorus.
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea …It’s like they’re playing Charlie and Dakota’s song. It would besoDakota to shove Charlie into the nearest walk-in wardrobe so she can slam him up against the wall in private. Let’s face it, from the secrets he muttered to me back there, he has to be off his face. When the song gets to the part whereshe’s touching his chest, now he takes off her dress, I clamp my hands to my ears so hard all I can hear is a noise like the rush of the undertow out in the bay.
By the time I let go, Sophie’s tapping me on the shoulder. ‘Clems, are you okay?’
I shake myself back into the room. ‘Yeah, sure.’ I add in a grin to cover that I’m anything less than fabulous. ‘Just having cocoa overload, I definitely over-did the caramel brownies.’
She directs a knowing nod towards the kitchen. ‘What I was saying about all the checks … look at George and Nell over there, sorting glasses. They’re in their own little world.’
At first I can’t believe what I’m seeing, then the penny drops. ‘Phew, this is my lucky day. That’s Nell keeping George away from the paying public, I’d best go and help.’
‘Or maybe, don’t bother …’
As I dash towards the sink area, Sophie’s words fade behind me. I know she’s only trying to save me from clearing up because they insisted they were going to do it. In any case, it’s time I checked in with George.
‘Hey, how’s it going?’ The crew have drifted off to join in the dancing, leaving Nell and George washing up glasses and dipping into the last giant queen of puddings bowl.
Nell scoops a mouthful of soft meringue and jam off the spoon. ‘Brilliantly. Everyone’s loving it, the musical chairs melted some glaciers I’d thought would stay frozen forever. And this is the most delish queen of puds I’ve ever tasted.’ Even for upbeat Nell, she’s sounding extra enthusiastic. Although having tried thirty compulsive crazy seconds of it, I completely get how musical chairs forges links. As she dips in again her voice is clogged with jam and custard. ‘What’s your secret?’
I shrug. ‘I used brioche instead of breadcrumbs.’ That was Charlie’s tip.
George laughs and dips in too. ‘So strictly this is a Marie Antoinette version?’
‘Nice take, George.’ I nod and wiggle my eyebrows at Nell. ‘Mostly I reckon it’s down to the fabulous free-range eggs.’ Once upon a time that line was meant for Charlie, but if he’s not here it’s a shame to waste it.
George passes me a fork. ‘Seriously, you need to try this.’
Nell rolls her eyes. ‘Of course she’s tried it, she made them, dumbo.’
‘Except I haven’t actually tasted this one.’
George looks exceptionally pleased with himself. ‘There you go then. Dip in.’
