Plum rolls her eyes. ‘She’s very tactile, isn’t she? I’m sure body slamming Charlie up against the bookcase for the entire evening wasn’t in her job description.’
Sophie gets another two bottles of cava out of Charlie’s floor to ceiling wine chiller. ‘On another subject entirely, Nell and George were chatting when he first arrived and I couldn’t help noticing their shirts were almost identical.’ As she pops the first cork she grins. ‘Should we be reading something intothat?’
I turn and make a space for the cream jug on the table. ‘They weren’tthatsimilar. Nell’s isRiver Islandand it’s covered in random ruffles. Anyway, you were the one who said checksweren’ta basis for a relationship.’
Sophie stops pouring. ‘I know. But for the fleeting moment they had their heads together they looked very close, that’s all.’
At least I can safely put that theory to bed. ‘Forget that, Nell’s been circulating all evening. And George has been on his stool at the island unit talking to a couple of guys he crews with when he sails. They’ve been chugging their way through crumble and custard all night.’ I know because I’ve been feeding them. Seeing as they’re the only non-paying customers here it seemed like a sensible precaution. If George is busy with non-stop puddings, hopefully he won’t have time to mingle and stumble across the awful truth that other people have paid. I’ve also been keeping a close watch, waiting to pounce on any evidence of whatever scandal Charlie hinted at. It’s been the same at work too. For someone who’s usually chilled and laid back, I’ve actually had a hell of a week. Not only have I had to make a gazillion puddings, I’ve also been on high alert watching George for clues. Although this far he’s given away precisely zilch. So, my nervous exhaustion has all been for nothing.
‘You’ve totally excelled yourself here tonight, Clemmie.’ Plum says as she pulls me into a little hug. ‘We’re almost on to the main business of the evening now.’
My inside is all warm with the praise. ‘Thanks, babe. What are we going to do?’
She narrows her eyes. ‘As soon as people have finished eating, I’m going to mix things up a bit.’
Sophie’s eyebrow shoots up. ‘How exactly?’
Plum’s grin is wicked. ‘Ice-breaker musical chairs.’ She pauses to do her jazz hands. ‘Truly, we can’t let a matching dining set for sixteen go to waste. A few riotous rounds of the St Aidan Singles special should give us all ample opportunity to prise a few secrets out of Charlie.
I’m not convinced. ‘Isn’t musical chairs lame and prissy?’
Plum’s laugh is low. ‘Not the way this lot play it. Nell tweaked the rules a while back to get the maximum number of permutations of different people sitting on each other’s knees. It’s the perfect way to round the evening off with a bang and squeeze some extra nuggets out of Charlie.’ She looks at me. ‘Find Plastique Bertrand on your playlist. That’s the kind of wild we need here. Then they like to move on to up tempo Blondie tracks and The Killers.’
‘Great.’ As I grab my phone and start shuffling through Spotify, I can’t help noticing. For someone who admits to the occasional Singles’ pub crawl, Plum’s very informed. Although I’m not sure I ever came across a game of musical chairs before that included sitting on knees. The ones I’ve played were more about disappearing seats.
She turns to Sophie. ‘You prise Dakota away from Charlie, then Nell, Clemmie and I will take care of the rest.’
Moments later, Plum’s abandoned her custard and she’s humping the first leather and stainless steel dining chair around into the main party area, and calling for Nell. One sniff of the game, and a load of the chaps rush over to help. Before we know it, the island unit is covered in empty dishes and glasses, and we’re looking at sixteen chairs lined up back-to-back down the centre of Diesel’s favourite rug, and they’re filling up with enthusiastic guests.
Plum sidles up to me, talking out of the corner of her mouth. ‘Okay, we’ll do a few dummy runs to get them into the swing. Then we’ll sit Charlie down … andkerching!’ She gives me a wink. ‘All ready?’
As she moves off Nell’s taking up a position at the far end. The minute all the chairs are full, I switch on Plastic Bertrand and the whole room erupts. Crazy doesn’t begin to cover it. Everyone is belting round the chairs whooping and waving their arms.
I mouth at Plum. ‘What the fuck?’
She pulls a face, and bellows in my ear. ‘It’s so much fun they can get a bit over excited.’ She lets it go for a few more bars then yells again. ‘Okay, stop the music.’
As Plastic Bertrand breaks off in mid-syllable, there’s a tremendous scuffle, not to mention a few flying fists. Eventually, the scrum eases back, and we’re left with sixteen people on chairs and sixteen more sprawled on top of them. There are legs and arms flailing in all directions with Nell holding court at the far end.
‘Okay, for the next bit, the choice is yours, but it must be consensual – snog, secret or surprise.’ She lets out a low laugh. ‘Or all three if you want. But as soon as the music restarts, stop the snogs and surprises, swap places, and we’ll go again.’
As I glance at the writhing mass of bodies I groan to Plum. ‘Jeez, look away now, this is hideous. However much Sophie needs her secrets, I’m not going to dare to go in.’
Plum laughs. ‘You will. Pass the phone, I’ll do the music.’
I do as I’m told. As the crazy starts up again I shout into Plum’s hair. ‘I’m all for anarchy but is it good for the Little Cornish Kitchen to be aligned with this kind of riotous?’ I’m suddenly feeling very protective of our creation.
Plum shrugs. ‘We’re here to do whatever it takes. The minute Sophie gets Dakota separated, I’ll get Charlie onto a chair then you and Nell can dive in and see what he comes out with.’
We’re on to Blondie now, and Debbie Harry’s singing her heart out. Charlie’s nowhere in view, and George and his crewmates haven’t ventured into the melee yet. But by my reckoning most of the Singles’ Club have had every other eligible member on their knee and then some.
Waiting for Dakota to be un-glued, Charlie to be sitting down and me or Nell to be near him is like one of those maddening cracker games where you have to get all the balls into holes at the same time. Half an hour later, I’m despairing of it ever occurring then suddenly the unthinkable happens. I’ve no idea how the hell she’s detained Dakota, but Sophie’s waving her arms. As the music stops, Plum’s shouldering Charlie into a gap and onto the knee of a woman who looks from her big calves and sweat band like she heads up the hockey team. Plum gives Charlie a second to listen to whatever secret she’s telling him, then presses play. As Charlie falls back onto his own dining chair, we’re one move away from landing Nell or me in his lap.
As the music begins and everyone starts haring around the room, I catch Nell’s eye. ‘You go first?’ Once Charlie’s crushed under my weight, I’m not a hundred per cent certain I’ll be able to resist a full-on pash and go in for a boring old secret instead. After all the puddings I’ve made here, whatever he spills had better be good.
Then suddenly, the Killers break off in midline, and somehow it’s like time stops. I’m standing staring down at Charlie, he’s smiling up at me turning my toes to syrup. There’s no time to wonder where Nell is because there’s a huge shove in my back and the next thing I know I’m disentangling my hair from his stubble and hanging on to the most muscly shoulders.
His voice is low in my ear. ‘I think we might have been set up there.’
