He shrugs. ‘It was beyond awesome seeing the salt water swirling onto his leather seats. He got the message he was a bastard. That was enough for me.’
I’m still puzzled, though. ‘And what about the rest of the car wrecks that had your name on?’
This time his grin is broad, but very guilty. ‘One was me recreating the last scene fromHarold and Maud. The one where the car goes over the cliff and you think Harold’s gone with it. Then you realise he’s actually jumped out and he’s walking off into the distance playing his guitar.’ He gives an eye-roll. ‘I was filming it, but the camera stopped running.’ That sounds about right.
‘Jeez, Rory.’ Seeing super-confident Rory cringing with embarrassment is a whole new experience for me. I’m ashamed to admit I’m enjoying it. ‘And the others?’
He’s serious again. ‘They were just a crazy, rather lonely sixteen-year-old trying to find some way to amuse himself on Friday nights to dull the pain.’ This time there’s something so desolate in his voice that my heart is squishing for him.
‘I’m sorry you had such a shit time. I can’t believe that all anyone saw was the bravado.’ However much I want to squeeze his arm, I’m resisting. If I’m thinking I’d like to pat his leg, I’m not actually admitting it, even to myself.
He gives a disgruntled snort. ‘Just because I’m a guy, doesn’t mean I don’t feel stuff.’
I ease my fingers between my thighs and the seat upholstery, and jam my legs down to keep my hands safely out of the way. ‘I know that. In some ways my little brothers were a lot softer than my sister and me. You did a great job of hiding it, though.’
He sighs. ‘You too. Except you couldn’t hide it fromme. The fact we were both hurting set us apart from other people. That was why we got on so well.’
‘What?’ I’m not sure I follow him.
‘Don’t get me wrong. Other people had it tough. Poppy never had a dad and Immie’s family were mainly at the Goose and Duck or down the police station. But the two of us started off with happy family units and then they broke. My dad walked out of ours and your sister dying smashed yours to pieces. As we both know, there’s nothing quite like the pain from that kind of family fracture.’ He’s frowning now. ‘Every morning after Freya died, I’d get on that school bus and there you’d be, looking so utterly alone and miserable.’
‘Who,me?’ I remember feeling detached, but I wasn’t aware I was so pathetic.
‘It wasn’t the kind of sad you’d get from lost homework, it was more a kind of heart- wrenching desolation you get from being completely crushed inside.’ From the way he’s screwing his face up, he’s struggling to remember. ‘I had to try to brighten your day. I couldn’t not cheer you up.’
Cheer me up? ‘By teasing the living daylights out of me?’ My voice is squeaking with amazement.
‘I couldn’t think what else to do. It was just a way to make you feel better, that’s all. It was only because I cared. The same way I still care, which is why I’m helping you out with the weddings.’ He shakes his head. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t know all this before?’
And I can’t quite believe what he’s saying. Or that he’s so open, when it comes to stuff like this. ‘At least your claims of being able to see into my head are exaggerated,’ I say, as he revs the engine.
As he pulls back onto the lane, he turns to look at me again. ‘Just promise me you’ll be careful, Berry. You’re way too special to end up with the wrong guy.’
And for a split-second flash, I suddenly catch what the whole of the rest of the world see in his eyes. They’re kind of dark and deep, but unnervingly vulnerable. Both at the same time, that’s pretty unusual. The kind of cocoa colour that makes the pit of your stomach melt. If it’s on a chocolate cake, obviously. If I never got it before, it’s because I was never careless enough to properly look into them. I send a mental note to myself –definitely do not let this happen again. Hot syrup in your toes is no state to be in when you’re supposed to be getting out of the car approximately zero minutes from now and walking like a sensible person.
‘Hey, it’s the Manor. We’re here.’ I know I’m stating the obvious. Twice over. But there are some moments you can’t move on from fast enough. And this is one of them.
Chapter 23
Wednesday 13th December
At Rose Hill Manor: Magnetism and stunning views
I peer through the bare branches as we continue down the kind of tree-lined drive you get in films, and I can completely see why people choose to get married at the Manor. When I get as far as the part where I remember that in two days’ time I’ll be taking pictures of not one wedding here but two, for a second I forget to breathe. There’s just a glimpse of the lake, reflecting the grey clouds racing above, then a second later we come to the mellow stone house that’s large enough to cause my mouth to drop open. But somehow the irregular windows and a slate roof that’s still shining from the last rain shower make it warm and very welcoming. When I finally get my breath back enough to get some words out, it’s hard to know what to say.
‘It’s beautiful. But somehow it looks really different from the photos I’ve been looking at.’ Jules gave me access to his portfolio of Manor weddings so I could check out his favourite and signature views.
Rory laughs. ‘That’s because they were mostly taken either on sunny days or in deep snow.’ He’s picking up my confusion. ‘No need to look so surprised. Jules knows the value of a well briefed assistant. He sent those pictures to me too.’
I try not to feel put out by this as the tyres crunch through the gravel and we veer round to the front of the house. It’s not as if I want ownership of this stand-in photographer role. In fact, the more responsibility that lands on someone else the better. It’s just I’d rather it wasanyoneother than Rory I was sharing it with. Talking of whom, he’s just ignored all the car parking signs and pulled into a prime spot by the lovely wide front door, which is flanked by two elegantly narrow Christmas trees.
‘Shouldn’t we be round the side with the rest of the vehicles?’ I caught sight of them clustered down in the courtyard by the coach house as we swept in.
‘It might have escaped you, but we’ve got ababyon board, HB.’ He looks at me as if I’m mad not to get the significance as he jumps down from the car. ‘If that doesn’t entitle us to priority parking, nothing will. Seeing you’re staying at Jess’s, we’re practically friends and family anyway. Talking of which, how’s Uncle Bart’s proposal coming along?’ Ending his case with a complete flip of subject is what he does.
Given the whole of St Aidan’s following events in Klosters on a minute-by-minute basis, I’m not exactly breaking a confidence by updating him. ‘Jess came out of the balcony hot tub yesterday evening and found a six foot chocolate fountain installed by the fire. You know how amazing Swiss chocolate is?’ I break off to swallow my drool. ‘But despite dipping exotic fruit slices in it for an entire evening, she’s still ring free.’
Rory laughs. ‘If I know Bart, he’ll be making her work for her diamonds. That way she’ll appreciate it more when she finally gets them.’
