It’s hard not to run out of the house. Harder not to turn back around to see if she’ll fight for me or just fight me. But she lets me go like I never meant anything to her—like I’m inconsequential.
Leo rushes ahead of me to get my door, and I’m too numb to notice it shutting behind me, or that muscle memory has kicked in, and I’ve put on the seatbelt. I don’t notice the pickup turn on, or the street fly past, or the words Leo is saying.
Nothing makes it through until one thought hits me: it’s over.
It’s finally over.
The dam opens. The tears fall freely. I cry for my mom and the life she’ll never have. I cry because of the grief of losing a mother. I cry for a childhood I never got to experience, and moments of love and support I never had. I cry over years of pain endured for nothing.
I cry even when Leo parks and pulls me onto his lap. His hand moves in circles over my back as he whispers words of comfort: how he’s proud of me, how strong I am, how worth it this will all be, how he has me, he’ll never let go, how it’s safe.
I cry until the tears feel a little bit like joy. The pain has come to an end. I don’t need to keep hurting. It’s over. I’m free.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Mina
It’s been twenty-four hours since I cut my mother off, and I’ve learned something: it’s possible to not have tense shoulders.
There’s no weight on my chest, my mind feels clearer, I’m more awake, and I feel like I’ve stepped out of a two-hour body massage, still drunk on the rush of being relaxed.
I finish typing up the text to Joyce as I hear the shower turn off upstairs.
Mina: Does 6 work?
I reached out to her a couple days ago and apologized for my behavior. She understood the moment I blamed it on Mom and was over the moon when she found out I pulled the plug. I’ll be forever grateful for how quickly she forgave me and went back to acting like nothing happened.
Joyce is, of course, skeptical about me moving to another city with Leo, but supportive enough to promise bodily harm against him if he hurts me.
I figured we can catch up tonight before Leo and I head off in two days.
Joyce: Fuck yeah. That Korean place with the bomb cheesy tteokbokki?
Mina: For the nostalgia.
I send my response just as Leo descends the stairs freshly washed, shirtless, and with gray sweats that hang dangerously low around his hips. My mouth starts watering like I’m a teenage girl who’s never seen a man before.
Leo’s been shirtless in front of me a great many times in the past week and a bit, and the outline of his cock beneath his sweats will never not get me going like I’m some sex machine. Iswearthe bulge grows bigger with every step he takes toward me. If his cocky grin tells me anything, he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
A wave of guilt dampens the ache in my lower stomach. My uterus has been too crampy to handle any type of action because the very bodily response of arousal causes a stabbing ache to start up.
We haven’t done more than kiss here and there, and beyond a good old-fashioned ogle, he’s been a gentleman in making sure I want to keep it in my pants.
But right now, none of that discomfort is here, and I very much wouldn’t mind climbing him like a tree.
Unfortunately, he has to go to work, and a dead man is being lowered into the ground.
That reminder has me shifting on the couch as the need to wash my hands builds. Whenever I think about that night, I’m certain if I look down, I’ll still have his blood on my skin. I don’t regret what I did. I’d do it again if I had the chance. I just need to accept this is the price I must pay.
Clearing my throat, I lower my phone onto the armrest of the couch. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the funeral before you head out? I can come with you.” He has to do a media appearance for one of his smaller sponsors before his contract with them ends.
He quirks a brow. “Certain.”
I’ve asked him several times over the past few days, and his answer is always the same, so I don’t know why I bother asking again.
“Is the fact that your parents will be there impacting your decision?” He told me they’ve been under the same roof and crossed paths multiple times, but they haven’t spoken since he left home.
The last thing he gives a shit about is the PR of going. The Serpents’ coach and his agent have been pressuring him to attend, and honestly, it would be better from a get-away-with-murder perspective, but Leo said he wants to wash his hands of it all and start fresh.
