“Why would Jack do that?” I whisper, because the rage I am holding on to is too fickle. I can’t stay mad at Leo if he keeps acting like this.
“The same reason he won’t leave you alone, and why your mother brings you down at every chance she gets: control.”
The space between my brows pinches. “He wants to control me?”
“No, me.” His expression grows tight as he glares at something over my head for a moment. “That friend I mentionedwho turned my entire family against me, that was Jack. He wants to push you away to isolate me.”
Something about that rattles me. It’s his moment of vulnerability, but it’s my mother who jumps into my mind.
Jack wants me to stop talking to Leo, for a different reason than why Mom wants me to cut ties with him. It’s the same reason why she was trying to set me up with Thomas—she’d still have me wrapped around her finger even if I married him.
If I’m able to think for myself, how can she make decisions for me?
“You didn’t have anything to do with what they did?” I need to hear him say it again. I don’t want to walk away with a single doubt in my mind.
“Nothing,” he swears. “And that picture they took of me and that woman was taken two seconds before I told that leech to get fucked.”
For some reason, that makes me cry harder. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and all I feel is weak.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” He pulls me into his arms and tucks my head beneath his chin. “Come here. I can’t stand it when you cry.”
A watery laugh rumbles out of my chest at the ridiculousness of this entire situation, from my new stalker to my own murderer. I laugh because if I don’t, I’ll have to remember this is my reality now, and the road ahead passes through every level of Hell.
The tears fall freely, soaking the blazer that fits him like a glove, and no doubt smearing makeup on his black shirt and tie. I’ll be embarrassed about it later when I’m not crying into someone’s arms for the first time in my life.
Leo runs his hand over my head and down my back. If I could stay in his warm embrace forever, I would. It feels like nothingcan reach me as long as I’m right here. I never realized how a simple gesture could get me to solid ground so quickly.
But somewhere at the back of my mind, I know this isn’t going to last. Nothing good happens to me, and Leo is simply too good to be true. And Mom... Her words are still in my head. Leo might want me now, but once he opens his eyes and truly sees me, he’ll change his mind.
That’s what she’d tell me, and I’m so fucking scared that she’s right about that too.
I pull away once I manage to control myself enough to turn my cries into sniffles. He has to ruin the moment, though.
“Your mom?—”
I step out of his reach, shaking my head. “Stop, I don’t want to talk about it.”
He gives me a look that tells me he most definitely will not be dropping it. “The relationship will never get better. You need?—”
“I know what I need to do,” I snap, because I don’t want to hear it. “I’m not blind. I’m not fuckingstupid.” The word tastes like acid. “You don’t get it, Leo. She’s mymother, alright? And I— We’re—” I suck in a sharp breath. “We’re meant to respect our elders. No matter what. No matter how fucking horribly they treat us, or if they don’t deserve it. We take care of our parents because they took care of us. We don’t put them in a home or tell them to get fucked. We stick around becausethat’swhat’s expected of us. And you willneverget it.”
The tears are salty on my tongue, and I feel too big for my body, like any second my flesh will tear to make way for the emotions boiling inside me.
“I know everything that she does, and how awful she is, and cruel, and abusive, and toxic, and how fucked I am in the head because of her. We’re from different cultures; I can’t just... I-I justcan’t, okay? I can’t cut her off, I don’t— She’s mymom. Ihave no siblings or cousins I’m close with. She’s the only family I have, and she gave birth to me. And I... have to stay.”
I’m not strong enough to do what I need to do. I know there’s only one right answer—one fix—but I’m too scared to do it because what if it is the wrong choice?
Leo’s brows flatten as he inches closer. “Obligation is not the same thing as choice. She’s doing the bare minimum as a parent?—”
No.No, he doesn’t get it.
“Earlier this year, she paid for the new tires for my car, and she was going to help pay for my tuition. Even though she was mad I dropped out, she helped me find my apartment and clean up my credit score, and if I ever need financial help, she’s there. Her door is always open to me. I-I can’t just turn away from her. She’s done so much for me.”
She’s not a bad mom. She’s done everything a parentshoulddo. She’s gone above and beyond, and is hailed by every single person I speak to about howgreatshe is. It’s the things that come out of her mouth that are the problem.
If I lose her, I lose my safety net. I lose theone personI know who will always take me under their wing. And without knowing what’s happening with my career, or what my new stalker will do, or how this will play out with Leo, I can’t lose that safety.
