My mouth dries.Oh.“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“It was a long time ago.” He’s impassive again, or at least, he’s trying to be. The strain around his eyes is a dead giveaway.
“I never had any siblings, but I—I can imagine the hole they left behind.” I still have a gaping wound in my chest from Dad’s death. I never met my mother, and there’s an empty spot where she’s meant to be.
Ordus grunts and turns away.
I guess we’re back to silent time. I try to tamp down my hurt and disappointment.
Sighing, I pick up a dagger with precious gemstones on the hilt. I’m not sure what exactly is on it, but my jaw is somewhere on the floor.
“We took this off a ship sailing near our territory.”
My eyes flash up to Ordus, and a stone drops in my chest from the sorrow etched over his face.
“My brother and I were both very young at the time, long before the Curse.” His voice is low, like he doesn’t want to speak but he’s forcing himself to. “Yannig loved challenging us to do foolish things—I’m sure it was to see how far the line was for him to cross.” He adds the last part more to himself. “One night, we dared each other to get things from a passing vessel without being caught. It’s not something we’d ever done before, and I usually wouldn’t have agreed, but it was his name day. It wasnight, so the odds were in our favor. I must have been around thirteen at the time, Yannig twenty-two. I knew it was too far. Our laws were and are clear: krakens cannot reveal themselves to humans.”
The stone in my chest grows into a boulder, and it becomes harder to breathe. I don’t think I’ll like what’s coming next.
“I knew I could get on and off the vessel without issue. Blending in is my specialty, even as a cub. Yannig’s, his words. He could convince anyone to do almost anything. It made him arrogant. Words wouldn’t keep him from detection. A human spotted him a moment before he jumped back into the water.” Ordus fidgets with a belt, not meeting my eye. “Our mother was furious. She forbade us from leaving the palace for a month and sent us to clean with the servants for a year. But the Council, they blamed me for it, said I corrupted Yannig’s mind and made him do it.” I suck in a sharp breath. “So, I was punished.”
His fingers hover above the scar on his ribs.Oh, God.
Flashes of Tommy’sdisciplineassault me. Other than my wrist, he never left scars on my skin. My broken bones are another story altogether. “Punished?” I croak.
What did they do to Ordus that left a jagged, six-inch scar? On a fuckingkid.
Ordus’ jaw is tight, body primed for a fight. Even the tentacle usually always touching me has recoiled away from me.
“A Council member—Lantoli—always disliked me. They all did, but he was the most vocal. He was biding his time, waiting for an excuse to—” He stops himself, skin pulsing and paling until he’s the same shade as the sand. “Lantoli convinced krakens I almost single-handedly caused the eradication of my species, that I was feeding humans information about our kind.”
He clenches his hands into fists. “Lantoli led a group of krakens to grab me as I was coming back from a hunt. They chained me to a large fishhook with the intention of draggingme to this island. Yannig found me before they could make it. My mother killed Lantoli and his conspirators, but the damage was done. They almost—” His voice breaks. “They almost succeeded.”
Ordus stares at the dagger in my grasp. It falls out of my hands like it’s poison. Why would they do that? What the fuck was wrong with them? “You were a child.”
He gives his head a single, stiff shake. “It does not matter. I was impure.”
What?Impure? That’s a load of bullshit. There’s nothing okay about harming a kid, monster or otherwise. “I don’t understand why they could hate achildso much.” Why is Ordus excusing their behavior? He sounds like Kristy, taking Tommy’s abuse by some misguided allusion it’s out of love or I might have somehow deserved it. “You did nothing wrong.”
“I did.” A growl breaks his voice, and my fear receptors stand on end. “I did many things wrong.”
“Like what? What could a thirteen-year-old have done?”I was twenty-three when I met Tommy. What did I do to deserve it?“Did you give humans information? Were you trying to get your brother killed? How could you possibly be?—”
“Because I am a monster!” he snarls. Piles of treasure fly across the cave and crash around us. The vein in his temple pulses, his anger developing its own heartbeat. I stagger back to get away from him. The spike of fear ebbs away as soon as my sights land on the heavy rise and fall of his chest. His sharp teeth are on display, muscles rippling like he’s a hair away from striking. This is the first time he’s lookedtrulymonstrous.
I’m not sure what shocks me more: the sudden outburst, or that the one constant feeling I’ve had for the past four years isn’t there. I’m not afraid. Not of him, at least.
That mustn’t be what he sees on my face, because he recoils, horrified of himself.
I step forward, close enough that his stray tentacle can wrap around me again. He moves back like he’s frightened he’ll hurt me.
“Ordus,” I say quietly. “I’ve met monsters. You are not one.”
“Look at me,” Ordus roars, pointing at his chest. “I am an abomination!”
I’ve lived under the same roof as one, shared meals with him and his even more abhorrent family. I know better than most what a monster looks like. After all, I fell into its trap.
“As it is in nature, the prettiest ones are the most poisonous. You are one of the most attractive men I have ever met, but you are far from poisonous.”
