I can feel his distress oozing off him. Well, if he’s upset about this, how the fuck does he think I feel?
“I…I do not understand.” His eyes dart toward the sea once more.
“Take me back! Take me back. Take me back. Take me back,” I chant. Scream. Heave. Hit. Cry. Drop to the ground and sob some more.
I feel like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop where he starts yelling back, beratingme, or exerts some level of force to make me stop seeing any semblance of good in him.
He says nothing, staring into the distance as I try to get my breathing under control. Over and over, one of his tentacles comes toward me, and another snatches it away, as if each of his limbs has a mind of its own.
It’s…nice having someone there. I’m too tired to think of a better word to describe how it feels to have another person beside me as I let go of the restraints on my emotions. To not be touched. To simply sit in the silence.
Even if he is the cause of my meltdown.
This is the most fucked-up situation any person could imagine. It’s nice when it shouldn’t be.
It could be worse.It’s not the metric I should use to judge my situation, but there’s no escaping the truth.
I could be the Gallaghers’ new punching bag. Lord knows what the pirates would do to me, who they might sell me off to.
The kraken could be intentionally harming me. He could have forced himself on me.
Or worse: I could still be with Tommy.
I hug my knees, wishing for a different life, staring out into the vast unknown and wallowing in my misery beside a monster who isn’t acting how I thought a monster would.
“Krakens would…” I watch Ordus out of the corner of my eye. His gaze drops to the hands in his lap. The striking familiarity of that single, pained look winds me. I can recognize grief anywhere. “I would die if you left.” His voice is just above a whisper.
“I’ll die if I stay here.” I sound like a broken record. “Look, I’ve read the books. My kind has a vague belief in soulmates. I know… I think I understand the magnitude of your…” I search for an appropriate word. “Position.”
I can’t possibly know whatmatesmean to him. I’m unconvinced he’s right about what I am to him. I spent a solid six months certain Tommy was my other half. We’d laugh at the same jokes, have the same interests, listen to the same music.
Yeah, I’ve met people who I've gelled with immediately or felt something low in my stomach from a single look. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s putting too much stock into a concept with no real basis.
“Word of advice,” I rasp, tasting ash, sand, and salt in the back of my throat. If I’m dying anyway, I might as well give the monster a piece of my mind. “Fate’s a bitch.”
Ordus’ eyes damn well nearly pop out of his head.
Fate got my dad killed before I could say goodbye. Fate took my mother before I could meet her. Fate made my rabbit die a week after I got it. Fate gave me appendicitis the day of my exam. It made me spill Ribena all over my cream prom dress. It caused a motorcyclist to ram into the back of my car and break his shoulder when he was a single parent of three. Fate gave my friend in eighth grade cancer, then let her live and took her mom instead.
Fate put me on Tommy’s path, and now, Ordus’.
Fate is a downright wretched bitch, and I’m sick of being her victim.
I continue before he can respond. “Vibesdon't equal compatibility. And you and me? We will never be compatible.”
My subconscious seems to be taking the “gently break up with the kraken” approach, since nothing else seems to be working. It’s not like it’s a lie. How could we possibly work?
Size is one thing. I’m not made to live underwater is another. Oh, and let's not forget one tiny, itsy-bitsy matter.He fucking kidnapped me.
“In time,” is all he says.
As if time is going to change any of the reasons I listed.
“You can’t love a corpse.” Either now, or in two days. I’m already dead.
“Love would surpass death.” The atmosphere grows somber. “Our bodies would decay, but our souls will forever be one.”
I’m not about to argue metaphysics with a mythical creature, so I don’t reply. Clearly, I don’t know a thing about how the world works. Sea Goddesses? Sirens? Actual, written in stone soulmates?
