This is insane.
Certifiable.
Batshit fucking crazy—even for me.
Everything about this is ludicrous—from both the outside looking inandthe inside looking out.
I didn’t think we’d actually pay McGill a visit tonight. I thought I’d have to spend weeks planning and making contingency plans in case Kohen bails. But he’s here. And he planned it all while I was playing makeup in the bathroom. I’m not sure whether that surprises me more, or the fact that I agreed to spider-monkey this shit by hopping onto his back so he can carry me all the way to McGill’s place so I don’t have to use my injured foot.
Kohen said I’d slow us down and I’d breathe too loud. Either the vodka has well and truly gone to my head,or I’m a woman full of agreement, because I then lift my arms up and let him bundle me up in his hoodie and beanie.
I’m not sure how Kohen knows, but apparently, McGill lives at a house just outside campus. He started renting the place earlier this year after his wife left him, and he still hasn’t finished unpacking.
Shock. That’s the only thing that can explain why we’re about to do Lord knows what, and I have my head shoved against his neck to breathe in patchouli and mint from the source. I’m not sure at which point the shock started. When I was thrown into frozen waters yesterday. When he confessed to a crime he wasn’t being questioned for, and told me about everything he did for me I had never realized days before. Or when heoffered to kill McGill for hurting me?
I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t make me a tad bit aroused. Who knew he just had to murder a man to get me compliant. A giggle bubbles out of me just as he jogs down the concrete steps into the courtyard, rattling me against his back. The alcohol and anti-inflammatories have numbed most of the pain, but even without those two, the adrenaline would be enough to keep the hurt at bay. The only thing that would make this moment seem perfect is a bump. I’m trying not to think about it, but it’s hard not to.
Just one line and I’ll feel like a million bucks. Undefeatable and able to conquer the world. But I won’t get my revenge if I’m too high or strung out to function. I need my focus.
“Be quiet,” he scolds as I play with the neckline of the sweater he’s wearing to focus on anything other than the fact my body is itching for a hit. I pinch the cotton collar between my fingers. Pity there’s no lipstick stain on this shirt. Seeing the smile drop from Sarah’s face when I walked into prom with him on my arm was amazing. But if she saw us right now? I almost wish I could take a video of us likethis. We’re the parody version of theJames Bondmovies.
Scratch that. We’re more like a cartoon TV series with two incompetent fools pretending to be spies. Or assassins.
We haven’t even started causing mayhem yet, and I can’t contain the smile that keeps breaking out across my face.
Out of all of Kohen’s admissions, seeing his dedication in action makes me want to kiss him the same way he always kisses me, so he knows that somewhere deep down, I appreciate him for being there on the good days and the bad days. It’s making me all mushy inside.
What made me swoon even harder was when he returned to my room in the middle of the night after he dropped me off from the dance. He had a big duffle bag full of snacks and a heat pack, pestering me as he complained I needed to start keeping myself warm. I fought for a solid two seconds, then almost started twirling and fluttering my eyelashes from all the attention. When Kohen started dressing me in his clothes, I felt like a goddamn princess. He looked like he was borderline concerned for his safety.
I drag my fingers over the chain around his neck as he keeps us to the sides of the buildings, dashing into the tree line in the opposite direction of the church.
The night is still except for the sounds of our heavy breaths and the crunch of spring beneath Kohen’s boots. The moon is hidden behind sheets of clouds, obscuring light from reaching our path beneath the trees. I keep thinking he’s going to trip over a hidden root or slide through the mud, but he keeps carrying me like I’m a backpack. I barely have to use any muscle to hold on because he’s gripping me with frightening ease.
This is like a fucked-up bonding session. A couples therapy exercise even though we aren’t a couple. What’s the next thing we’lldo? Summon a demon? I might be down for that too, if he keeps spoiling me like this. I feel like I’m on a power trip and never want to come down.
“This is so much fun,” I whisper-yell, loving the exhilaration coursing through my veins. “Do you do this often?”
Kohen halts and angles his head to give me a perplexed look. “Shut up, Blaze.”
I make the motion of zipping my lips shut, and he starts walking again. “But seriously, do you?”
He sighs.
“Okay, Mr. Drama.” I roll my eyes. “Chill out. It’s a genuine question. I’m just trying to figure out whether I’m murdering someone with an amateur or a pro.”
“No, Blaze. I do not commit homicide often,” he says, exasperated.
I push my bottom lip out and wiggle my feet in the air. “That’s disappointing.” I pat his chest, feeling the ache spread across my knuckles at the movement. “Still time to change that, bud.”
“I’m not yourbud.” I can practically hear his molars grind as his gloved hands tighten around my thighs. Glancing down, I notice him wearing a pair of shoes I’ve never seen before. Antiforensics? Nice.
I rub the top of his head, which is covered by a hat. “You’re right. We’re acquaintances at best.”
“I know how your pussy tastes. What you feel like when you come on my cock. That you prefer fast over hard. How you look when you squirt, and the way your legs shake after I fuck you. I’d say we’re beyond friends.”
“Frenemies—”
Kohen pinches my thigh.
