“Kohen!” I scream as my grandfather points the gun in my direction.
“Don’t move.” My grandfather’s voice is a distant sound.
I rush toward Kohen who’s lying by theentrance to the room, crashing onto my knees beside his fallen form. Tears spring to my eyes as I rip his mask off and touch his clammy skin. “Kohen. Open your eyes. Kohen, baby. Wake up.Open your fucking eyes, Kohen.”
He doesn’t. The only movement comes from the blood soaking through multiple layers of clothes, turning the rug crimson. A soft groan escapes his lips.
“Kohen,” I repeat, voice cracking as I press my lips against his and gingerly press on his wound. “Come on. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
The space between his brows wrinkles, and his head lolls. The walls around us seem to close in, and nothing matters but him.
“Kohen,” I plead, shaking him by the collar. The tears burn down my cheeks, making it harder to see. “Come back to me. You promised you’d never leave me.” I keep tapping his cheek, getting harder with each second that passes. Panic grips my lungs in a vise, squeezing hard enough to make acid climb up my throat.
“Step away from him, Marie.”
My head whips toward the voice. My grandfather is barely more than a blur from the tears that cast a haze over my vision.
Thatmotherfucker.
Thunder and fury flood my veins, coursing venom straight into my heart. The sound that comes out of my mouth barely sounds human. “You did this.”
He’s a fucking dead man.
Jonathan steps back as I prowl forward, keeping the gun fixed in my direction. Just before I lunge for him, aclicksounds through the room and I freeze, dropping my gaze to the weapon.
The asshole tried to kill me.
And he didn’t hold down the safety.
The fury explodes through my marrow, and everything ceases to exist. The gun flies out of his grasp when our bodies crash together. I don’t feel the pain in my muscles or the cramp in my hand. He hits me. Kicks me. Does everything a desperate man would. All I’m aware of is the feeling of my hands around my grandfather’s throat, the way he tries to throw me off when I pin him to the floor, and the man who owns every inch of me who’s bleeding out on my demon grandfather’s rug.
I can’t make out my grandfather’s face through the tears. The sound of his cries and useless pleas are lost to me as my fists descend on his face. I hit him for the years of trauma he could have prevented. I hit him for the years of abuse at his hand. I hit him because of the pain he caused, even during his dying moments.
He’sthe one who’s meant to die. Not Kohen.
I choke on a sob. “You think you can just kill me?”Punch.“I’m the monster you created.”Punch.“I’m the reason for your ruin.”Punch.“I’m the fucking victor.”Punch.“I can’t. Fucking.Lose him.” A strike accompanies each word, even though my grandfather stopped fighting long ago. My fists keep descending onto his face even as my punches slide into the dip in his skull. I cry out when the last hit collides with his broken features, jarring me back to the present.
Kohen.
I grab the gun from the floor and tuck it into my pocket. “Kohen!” I scream, clamoring up next to him. I rip my glove off to feel his clammy skin in my hands and cup his face just like he does to me. “Kohen, wake up. Come on, baby.” My tears fall onto his face as I pepper kisses all over his face. “Please wake up. Kohen, I swear to fucking God, if you don’t wake up, I’m going to bring you back to life just to kill you again.”
He doesn’t get to fucking die. There’s still so much we haven’t done. So much he said we will do. He promised me a trip to Bora Bora because he wants to see me lounging around in a bikini all day. He swore we’ll get a house of our own, and I can get a cat with an absurd name who I’ll train to do random tricks. We’re meant to go to the woods three days from now and start a bonfire. We have tickets to some stupid sci-fi movie that’s had him geeking out for the past month.
Kohen’s meant to get his degree and get into medicine. He’ll keep saving people because that’s what he does. He’s meant to go old and gray, and we’ll be the couple everyone hates at the retirement home. He needs to know that I love him more than anything else in this world. That I would give it all up for him too.
He deserves to live. Not me. Not the screwup who left the gun unattended.
“Please. Get up. You have to get up. I… I love you. Okay? You can’t fucking die without hearing it. I love you, you pyromaniac.I love you.You can’t—” I choke on the words while trying to press on the wound. “You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”
“Say it again.” The three words drift out in a whisper. My chest squeezes as he peels his eyelids open, revealing a hint of hazel. They start to close again, and I slap him across the face. Hard.
“Don’t you close your eyes on me, you fucking cunt!”
His eyes snap open when I slap him a second time.
“Say it,” he croaks, his eyes glazed over as if he’s fighting tooth and nail just to keep them open. Still, they’re right on me. They’re always on me.Seeingme.
“I love you, Kohen. Get out of this alive, and I promise to tell you any time you want,” I sob.
