“Come on, let’s get back to the house, my bed is calling me. We can figure this out later,” Doc suggests. “Either way, I don’t want to hang around here for any longer. If there is something here that we have to find, then we can come back tomorrow, when it’s light and hopefully not raining anymore.”
“I can have a shower,” Baz says, as the thought only just occurs to him, “a hot fucking shower.”
I grin, “You absolutely can, and you have your own bathroom attached to your room so you can stay in the shower for as long as you fucking want.”
“Awesome,” he grins.
Van nods, smiles, and then continues the previous conversation, “Doc’s right. We have a better chance of finding it, whatever it is, in the daylight anyway.”
We’re silent for a moment longer as we head back to where Winston dropped us off in the first place. I’ve got to try and explain to everyone the dream that I had.
I check in with the Voices and my instincts. I know that Baz feels like he’s a part of us, somehow. I don’t really know how that works, but it is what it is. My problem is that before I start to explain this latest development to the guys, I need to know whether Baz can know.
Whether it’s safe for all of us if he knows.
The Voices don’t seem to be reacting either way, but I think their lack of reaction might be an answer in itself.
My instincts aren’t telling me that I shouldn’t tell him, but the paranoid fucker in me, who has been through a hell of a lot, is telling me to be cautious. The problem with that is that there is a part of me that knows that he needs to know. It’s like there are two parts of me,one who knows that he should know and one who has been burned by trusting someone too soon, and they’re arguing with each other.
“Love?”Dimitri’s voice echoes through my mind.
Somehow, I’m now subconsciously reaching for him. For this moment, I need him, and for the first time in a very long time, I know that he will be there for me with no backlash.
“Dimi,”I mutter back.
His voice comes out calm and controlled,“Need me to kill someone?”
I chuckle, earning a curious look from the others, but I don’t bother trying to explain it.
“I don’t know what to do,”I reply honestly.
“Tell me, Love,”he replies simply, just like he always used to, and I have to swallow back a lump of emotion in my throat.
So I do, I tell him everything. I tell him how we found Baz, I tell Dimitri his back story, I tell him how Baz seems to fit in with us, and I even tell Dimitri how I feel, how Baz felt to me.
That’s the thing with Dimitri, and what I always loved about him was that I could tell him absolutely anything and there would be no judgment, no backlash. He would just listen and try to help if he could. I have fucking missed that.
Really missed it.
“It sounds to me like something else is at play here.”Dimitri starts once I’ve finished explaining.
Chapter Four
Neith
I’m now increasingly glad the walk back to the spot where Winston dropped us off is so far away.
He continues,“I get why you’re worried about trusting him. But Baz isn’t him. I can prove it. I remember what his essence feels like. I’ve never let myself forget, so I would know immediately if he ever became a threat to you again, despite the fact that Coen and I ripped him apart.”
I melt. The fact that he still remembers after everything that happened between us shows that, despite the control that Casimir had over him, he always kept a hold of a part of himself, and us.
“You did?”I ask.
“Of course I did, Love,”he replies. He carries on explaining,“If you allow me to, I can look through your eyes at Baz, because I use my magic to see through you, I’ll be able to see if Baz’s signature is the same as his, or even if Baz’s intentions aren’t true.”
“Will it be enough for you to get an accurate reading?”I ask him.
I can hear the smile in his voice as he says,“Well, I mean, I could always do it in person if you want me to?”
