She shifts around in my arms, looks up at me, her gorgeous lips quivering. She seems nervous, and I stroke her hair back from her face. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, in fact everything’s perfect, and that’s making me feel all… weird. I know we promised each other no strings, but we also promised each other honesty, didn’t we? So in the spirit of honesty, I have to say this – I like you so much, and I’m having the time of my life. I know it’s not forever, but I need you to know that. I’d hate myself if I never got the words out. This has been so very special, and if you could feel how happy I am right now, you’d probably be embarrassed… and then run a mile!’
It’s quite the speech, and I feel a little overwhelmed – in a good way. I tug her even closer, and say: ‘Don’t count on it, Kate.’
Right now I can’t imagine taking even one step away from this woman, never mind running a mile. It’s like there’s an invisible string tying us together, a lifeline we both grabbed hold of that now binds us. I choke up at the thought of leaving her, and yeah, I like her too.
Probably a lot more than I should.
TWENTY-TWO
KATE
We’re standing in the hall of Aberdeen Airport, which is small but perfectly formed. All around us, there are people bustling around – greeting visitors, being reunited with loved ones, dashing off to their next stops. It reminds me of the filmLove Actually, and the brilliant way it uses airports to show the richness of human life.
I glance up at Brody, wondering if he’s seen it. The concept almost makes me laugh out loud, but you never know. I try to put my own emotions out of my mind, because the last thing I need right now is to start imagining him leaving, me waving him off at a place just like this. That’s a tale for another day – this day isn’t about me. It isn’t about Brody, or even the bookshop we’ve spent the last few weeks pouring our hearts and souls into.
It’s about the latest flight from London, and the very special person who will be disembarking from it. I know I’m risking Moira’s wrath by even being here, by having arranged this, but I cross my fingers that it will be worth it. That she’ll respond with love, actually, rather than anger.
Brody has hired a car, and drove me here this morning. He is, as I could have predicted, hyper-vigilant, scanning the room and watching everybody who walks by. My own personal bodyguard,I think, my mind fluttering to Kevin Costner in the movie… it seems to be a morning for movie references. I’m probably trying to distract myself from the anxiety of real life.
I shake my head and force myself back to reality. I do as Brody is doing, and look around. He’s undoubtedly searching for threats, but I’m trying to figure out what type of person takes a plane to Aberdeen – there are business people wearing suits, men with sets of golf clubs, a few ladies arriving alone. One is met by both a younger woman and a Great Dane, who proceeds to slobber all over her with such joy it makes me grin.
‘That’s the first smile I’ve seen from you since we got here,’ Brody says. He’s right. I am worried. What if I’ve done the wrong thing?
‘It was a Great Dane. How can you not smile at a Great Dane?’
He nods. ‘My brother has a pit bull called Kevin. Gorgeous boy. You want to see a photo?’
‘Of a dog called Kevin? Of course!’ I appreciate the distraction.
He gets out his phone, and the picture of the dog leads on to pictures of his family, his mum and dad and siblings, and eventually to Shannon when she was younger. He tenses slightly when we inevitably reach one of Sandy and him, mountains and forests in the background.
‘It’s okay,’ I say, laying a hand on his arm. ‘She’s part of you, Brody.’
I look at the image, see how much Shannon resembles her. ‘She’s beautiful. And so is that place, where is it?’
‘North Cascades National Park in Washington. Hiking trip. It was… it was a good time.’
His voice is strained, and I can only imagine the emotions that are washing through him. I know part of him still feels guilty about us, as though he is betraying Sandy in some way. I’d like tosay that doesn’t bother me, and mainly it doesn’t, but a tiny bit of me – a tiny bit I’m not proud of –isbothered. I know I only have Brody on loan, and one day I’ll have to give him back to his real life. Most of the time I deal with that in an incredibly mature way, by completely ignoring it, but every now and then a feeling of panic rises up and swallows me.
I’ve finally blocked and deleted Harry’s number, after one drunken message too many, and for the time being, I am free of my past. Brody, though, always carries his around with him, and has Shannon as a living reminder.
We’re saved any further awkwardness by an announcement that the flight from Gatwick has landed. I recognise him as soon as he emerges, wheeling his case by his side. He’s in his mid-twenties but looks younger, with shoulder-length dark hair, blue eyes, and a tan that speaks of time spent in sunnier climes.
‘Robbie?’ I say, approaching him, Brody right behind me.
‘Yes,’ the young man says, smiling in a way that immediately reminds me of Moira. Moira, his grandmother, who has no idea that I’ve done this. ‘You must be Kate and Brody!’
He gives me a hug, and shakes Brody’s hand. ‘Thank you,’ he says as we make our way back to the car park. ‘For getting in touch. I’m still a bit angry with her, truthfully, for not telling me what happened. I’ve spoken to her once a week and she’s just pretended everything was fine, the stubborn old moo!’
We climb in and Brody starts to drive, heading to the coastal road that leads us back to Bonnie Bay.
‘She didn’t want to worry you,’ I reply, turning to look at him in the back seat. Even though he’s a grown man, he still has the air of a teenager who hasn’t quite grown into his height. ‘And… well, yes. She is a stubborn old moo. Not going to lie, I’m a bit concerned she might come at me with an axe when she finds out what I’ve done…’
‘Och no,’ Robbie replies reassuringly. ‘She’d just use Joanne’s shotgun!’
Brody snorts out a laugh, and I wonder if he’d jump in front of a bullet for me, like Kevin Costner. I decide he probably would, but hope it doesn’t come to that.
