“The night Elliot died, he got into a fight at the stadium with Jack…and ran.” The words scrape against my mouth and lips, my body takes on a raw ache. I thought that, over time, talking about what happened would get easier. In some ways it has, but it’s still painful as hell.
Every time.
“Brodie and I went looking for him. When we finally found him, he didn’t look like my brother. His pupils were blown. I’m almost certain he didn’t know where he was.”
I pocket my hands that begin to tremble as images of Jack’s blood coating Elliot’s hands appear in my mind. I shake my head as if it’ll erase the memory.
“Chase.”
The way her tone gentles, as if she’s telling me it’s okay, is almost scary with how much it grounds me.
I can’t push that away.
I don’t want to.
I want her to know me.
And as much as I hate it, what happened last year is part of me.
It always will be.
“I told Elliot I’d take him somewhere safe. I didn’t know where that was. One second, he was unconscious, the next he was clawing at the door trying to get out. I saw the car too late.”
The bright headlights, honking cars, voices screaming, glass shattering, and metal scraping against concrete fill my ears. I still remember the jolt, the way my body slammed into the seat belt, just for it to jerk me back into place, before everything went black.
“Engine 45, my dad’s rig, was first on the scene. He managed to pull me out of my flipped car, where I’d been pinned. I was unconscious at the time. When he found out that Elliot was on the scene too, it was too much for his heart.” My voice cracks as I press my lips together, feeling the weight of everything I’ve been holding in.
The words of my doctor take me back.
“Mild concussion. Dislocated shoulder. Broken leg. And a few fractured ribs. The road to recovery will be a long one. It won’t be easy, but if you put in the work, your body will be as it was and you can resume playing hockey. You’re gonna be okay, Chase. You were very lucky, son.”
"Brodie was pretty banged up, but for the most part, he was okay.Elliot didn’t make it. He died on the scene. And my dad… He died from cardiac arrest in the back of the ambulance."
I remember staring at the doctor who broke the news to me, wondering if I was dreaming, and if at any moment, I’d wake up to a call from my dad telling me how long it took for him to complete the crossword in the Huxley Bay Newspaper.
But I wasn’t dreaming.
I was already living what my new reality would be.
A world without my dad, brother, and best friend.
“And Jack,” I say, my voice so hoarse I have to clear my throat to get the rest out. “Jack died sometime during the night in the hospital. My brother beat my best friend to death.”
“I am so sorry,” she whispers.
“I don’t have proof, but I think everything that happened that night was a result of whatever Elliot and Laurel were involved in. But so much about what Laurel told me doesn’t add up,” I explain. “I’ve been trying to put the pieces together ever since. So far, every road has been a dead end or leaves me with more questions than I started with.”
“I know what it’s like to be drowning,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
I turn to watch her as she stares at her covered hands, a tell I’ve come to understand as an attempt to hide her nerves.
“I get how hard this must have been for you to share. I’m sorry if talking about it with me brought you pain. That was never my intention. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
I capture her wrist, turning her to face me fully.
She looks up at me with those big brown eyes, and it’s then that I can see that she does understand. But more swirls in them. I can’t help but wonder what’s going on with the beautiful girl standing in front of me.
I open my mouth to tell her what she’s doing to my heart when a wailing sound stops me.
