She always sleeps in a T-shirt and bottoms.
This is new, and I really fucking like it.
I prowl over to her.
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about you in nothing but my shirt?” I ask, my tone deepening as I walk her backward until she bumps into the wall.
She closes her eyes when my palm lands on her exposed thigh. Her breath stutters, catching on every inhale.
“And do you know what I’ve done when I’ve closed my eyes and seen you in it?” I whisper into the shell of her ear before I kiss the column of her neck.
“Chase,” she murmurs.
“Do you know how you look right now, Erin? You look likemine.” I kiss her again, and she moans. “Tell me, baby, have you touched yourself thinking about me?”
The second my lips touch that spot behind her ear, her whole body goes rigid and her breath cuts off. The shift is instant and unmistakable.
I pull back.
Panic and fear swarm her beautiful eyes as they move wildly back and forth.
I pull her toward the bed, and we sit there together. She tucks her legs underneath her and plays with the loose threads on the bottom of my shirt.
“Talk to me.”
“Most people my age lose their virginity when they’re in high school or college, but I never had those experiences because I didn’t date. I also didn’t want it to happen, so I didn’t think I was missing out on anything. I mean, I know people say that it’s the best thing in the world, but I just… I never wanted to think about it.”
“Because of your mom,” I conclude, and for the first time, I’m thankful to her mother because no one has had Erin in the ways that I’ve dreamed of.
“You’re the only one that I’ve felt that way about. The only one I’vethoughtabout. When I’m with you, my body is constantly on fire. There have been so many moments where I’ve been so turned on by you itaches.”
Her cheeks flush when she sees I understand.
“I tried once after I told you I’d never kissed anyone. I tried to relieve the pressure to find that release but when I closed my eyes, I-I heard them,” she says, turning away from me. “My mom and that guy in the hotel, and I just felt dirty.” She sniffles. “I know I stopped hearing her voice a long time ago but hearing it inthatsetting was different—wrong. I’ve been too scared to try since.”
I hook my finger under her chin, guiding her eyes to mine.
“So you’ve never…?”
She shakes her head, and a single tear falls.
Her voice thins. “I don’t want to disappoint you, but what if I can’t do it? What if I’m b-broken? I don’t want to make you think I don’t want you, because I do, Eighty-Seven—so much. I’m just scared that you won’t want me if I can’t…”
A crushing pain breaks past my ribs.
“Breathe, baby. Just breathe,” I say with my hand on her cheek, cutting her off.
For a second, time stills.
She looks so defeated and exhausted, I wish I could wrap her up in my arms and silence every bit of doubt she has.
“Do you remember our first date and the drive we took to the food truck?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to think back to what we talked about.”
I take her wrist in my hand and kiss her knuckles before placing her hand flat over my chest. With my hand over hers, I ask, “Is this okay?” I’m giving her proof of how desperately my heart beats for her.
