No. Not Elliot. Not Laurel.
The room tilts. It’s sluggish at first, but then the ground opens up beneath me, and I’m falling fast and hard.
“Oh, God.” I shake my head quickly. “If I’d told someone sooner what I saw maybe?—”
“Hey,” he murmurs, voice low. His hands slide around the back of my neck, grounding me and holding me in place. “Look at me.”
I shake my head.
I can’t.
I can’t look at him.
“Erin. Baby, look at me.”
I drag my eyes up to him and focus on his ocean blue eyes and I notice he’s not angry. He’s not hurt. He doesn’t look betrayed. He’s just… worried. For me.
Always for me.
“This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.”
He pauses after each word, like he really needs every single one to sink into my skin. Like he needs me to understand it and believe it. The words scrape against every scar I carry.
“You weren’t part of any of this.”
“She’s my mom. She?—”
“No.” His voice sharpens, but it’s not cold. It’s resolute. Strong enough to cut through my spiraling. “Your mother made choices. The Octopus made choices. Elliot and Laurel made choices. They were adults. You were just a child, baby.”
“I stayed quiet.”
“You were afraid.”
“I should have told someone.”
He pulls me into him, wrapping me up tightly, trying to keep the pieces from falling. My fists curl into his shirt, bunching the fabric, desperate for an anchor.
It’s not enough.
The pain is too much.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper over and over. “I’m so, so sorry.”
His hand slips into my hair, stroking gently. His chin rests on the top of my head.
“You are not responsible, Erin.” His voice is strained, like he’s hurting for me. Like he knew I’d hear the words and take the blame. “You didn’t cause any of this. None of it.”
I turn my face away, a small shake rattling through me.
“If there’s one thing in this world I need you to believe,” he says. “It’s that you are not responsible for other people’s actions. Not your mother’s. Not The Octopus’s. Not anyone’s.”
“If he touched your family because of her, then everything that’s happened to you… Everything you lost…”
“Sweetheart,” he whispers, pulling back just enough to tilt my chin up. My breathing stutters. His thumb strokes my cheek. The world suspends with a quietness falling over us, the only sounds our two hearts beating too fast. “Don’t take that on. Please. Don’t put that weight on your shoulders. I know what it’s like. It’ll crush you. You will break under what was never yoursto carry. I can’t watch that happen to you, baby. Please. I can’t lose you to this. I need you.”
His forehead presses to mine, almost like he’s afraid I’ll vanish if he lets go.
“I love you, Erin,” he says softly, a clear confession he can’t hold back anymore. “I’ve loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I’ve been falling harder and faster ever since. All of this changes nothing. You’re my fucking everything. And I’m gonna keep telling you, okay? I love you, Bookworm. I always have and I always will. Nothing about your past is ever going to make me look at you any differently. Ever.”
