We head back to camp when the air turns a little colder and find the others in the lake. Erin heads to her tent and exits a few minutes later with a book and fresh bag of Jelly Tots I know Rudy hid under her pillow.
Rudy and Oliver wrestle in the water, and Erin chuckles and lets out a whoop in support of her brother as the two grown hockey men tackle each other.
“Get in here. The water’s great,” Austin comments from where he is, happily floating.
“I’m cool he—ahh.”
My body topples off the jetty, hitting the water with a full force of a slap and stealing the breath from my lungs. Muffled laughter rings out above me. When I push up, Erin’s bouncing on her toes, hands over her mouth, giggling. Her laughter is like listening to my favorite song on the highest volume, and I don’t ever want to turn it down.
“Not cool, Bookworm,” I say, shaking my head as I swim against the water and reach for the jetty.
She steps forward and offers her hand.
Rookie mistake, sweetheart.
I wrap my hand around hers, light at first, and then my grip tightens. Her eyes pop when I shoot her a wolfish grin.
Tug.
She screeches and gracefully falls forward into me, her splash elegant. When she emerges and flicks her hair out of her face, the sweet laughter that spills out of her wraps me up, and when her dimple pops, I want to bring her closer, claim her as mine, and stay this way with her forever.
We lounge in the water for a little while longer before we climb out to dry off.
The blue sky eventually turns into a black night, and the stars climb and litter it. They’re putting on their best performance tonight, and I’m glad everyone else has already turned in for the evening.
The fire crackles beside us, sparks spiraling into the night sky. Erin’s in my hoodie, and it’s like it’s just the two of us in the world tonight.
“Erin?”
She turns, the firelight painting her skin gold as hair spills off her shoulder.
“Can I take you on that date?”
She’s quiet and thoughtful. The fact that she hasn’t stood up and bolted from me fills me with hope, even though I’m holding my breath waiting for her to answer.
And fuck, I have no idea what I’m going to do if she says no, because I think if she rejects me again after how far we’ve come, I think I might just break.
But at the same time, if she were to rip my heart out, I’d still be here for her in whatever capacity she’d have me—because being without her is not an option I can live with.
When a single tear falls, I catch it with my thumb.
“Let me in, Erin, I’ll protect your heart with everything I have, I swear it. You just have to give me a chance, baby. Please.”
“You don’t understand.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “There’s not one single part of me that believesyouwould hurt me.” She pauses. “It’s the opposite.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’ve been running my whole life, Chase.” She shakes her head. “And I know my mom’s the reason I’ve been ignoring what exists between us. I’ve been so afraid that if I give in, I’ll hurt you—like she hurt my dad. The idea of you in pain because of me… I can’t stomach it. It makes it so hard for me to breathe.”
Her confession takes all the air out of my lungs. She cares about meso much,but she’s afraid to fall because of her shitty mother.
“It doesn’t have to hurt, baby,” I whisper.
“I’m so scared, Chase.”
“I know you would never hurt me. I know who you are, Erin. I see you, and only you, and you’re not her.”
If only she could see what I do. It kills me that she’s fought so hard to keep me at a distance, to keep me from loving her the way she deserves.
