Other than Alyssa, no one had ever needed him.
As she wiped her luscious lips with a napkin, he couldn’t look away. Couldn’t tear his gaze off their tempting plumpness and pretty rosy shade. They were the best damn lips he’d ever seen, and he remembered how soft they’d felt moving against his mouth. When she stifled a yawn behind her hand, he shook himself out of his reverie.
“You should go to bed.” He stood, gathered their plates and put them in the sink.
“It just hit me hard.” She yawned again, standing up and looking adorably sleepy in his too-large shirt and sweats. He wondered how many times she’d rolled them up at her slim waist.
“C’mon.” He flipped the lights off, and they headed for their bedrooms.
She paused beside the guestroom and gave him a smile. “Goodnight, Xander.”
“Night,” he murmured. He waited for her to close the door, noting that he didn’t hear the lock engage, before walking the rest of the way to his room. What the hell was he going to do with Essie Barrera?
He sighed heavily, because he had no fucking idea.
After brushing his teeth and using the bathroom, he dropped into bed. Sleep eluded him, and he tossed and turned for twohours straight. Finally, he sat up and sighed heavily again. It was becoming a habit. And he knew why. Or rather, who to blame. He was beyond exhausted, but he couldn’t fall asleep knowing his gorgeous house guest slept right down the hall. Probably making his sheets smell like cinnamon.
Christ, he wanted to sneak into bed with her. Slip between the soft sheets and let her sweet scent envelop him. Get lost in her body, her satin skin a whisper against his as he caressed every inch of her.
Huffing out a sound of frustration, he got out of bed and decided to get some fresh air. Maybe it would help clear his head.
Making his way through the shadowy house, he headed for the rear sliding glass door which led out to a small deck. Nothing fancy, but he enjoyed sitting out there when the weather was nice. Shoving his boots on and donning his coat, he stepped outside and an ice-cold breeze blew through him. Good, maybe it would help cool off his overheated dick.
Why was he thinking with his dick so much instead of his head? Because Essie was pretty? Big deal. He’d slept with beautiful women before. Granted, it had been a while, but this wasn’t his first rodeo. When it came down to it, they were all the same. Just a warm, soft place to bury his dick in until he had an orgasm.
Gripping the railing, he looked up at the clear Montana sky illuminated with countless stars. And, of course, his thoughts shifted to Alyssa. Remembering when she used to try to count every single one when they were little. The way she always made nightly wishes that never came true.
“I promise I’ll avenge you, Lyss.” His fingernails dug into the wood. “I swear it.”
How many times had he said those same words?
It didn’t help his conscience at all that Essie reminded him of his sister in more ways than one. It was more than just the necklace. They had similar spirits—so bright and lovely it made his cold heart ache. They also both possessed an innocence far too good for this fucked-up world.
His head dropped, chin hitting his chest. Essie didn’t deserve his wrath. His beef was with her brother. But he had to keep his distance from her and control his emotions. And keep his stupid dick in his pants. Fucking thing was becoming a nuisance, constantly jabbing into his zipper.
Because as much as he liked her, he couldn’t allow himself to get involved any more than they already were. It would split his focus, distract from his goal. Make him question everything he’d been working so damn hard to achieve.
He couldn’t risk that. He’d die before allowing José Barrera to walk away. And he didn’t—couldn’t—care who his sister might be or how she made him feel.
Chapter fourteen
Essie woke up early. At first, she couldn’t remember where she was, and her gaze flew around the unfamiliar room. Then it all came crashing back. How they’d escaped Mexico and flew to Montana. And now here she was, in Xander’s guestroom.
Sleep had taken its sweet time coming to her last night, and she’d gotten up at some point, deciding to look for a snack in the kitchen. Her plan was derailed when she’d felt a cold draft and noticed the rear sliding door was cracked open. Through the glass, she’d spotted Xander, standing outside in the freezing cold.
Confused, on the verge of going to him, she hesitated. Something held her back. Maybe it was his posture. The way he gripped the deck’s railing. How his head dropped and his shoulders slumped. As though the weight of the world was pressing down on him.
She had no idea what was going through his mind at that moment, but she decided not to interrupt, returning to her room empty-handed instead.
Xander Hawke was the most complicated man she’d ever met, and he was dealing with so much. His capture and captivity. The loss of his sister and then the opportunity to confront the man who’d murdered her. Her part in his escape and how it must be affecting his plans for revenge. Because despite the Barrera blood running through her veins, she knew in her heart that they’d forged a true connection.
Crawling out of the warm bed, she padded over to the bathroom and washed up. Her wild hair refused to cooperate, so she knotted it up on top of her head. She’d have to find more clothes to wear, but at least hers were clean. Although, she had forgotten to put them in the dryer last night.
Stomach growling, she stepped out of her room, and the intoxicating smell of coffee made her nose perk up. Following the scent straight to the kitchen, she saw Xander retrieving a cup from beneath a machine. “Good morning,” she murmured.
“Morning.” He offered her the mug.
“Thank you.” She blew on the steaming caffeinated goodness as he popped a new pod in and hit the brew button.
