Prologue
Thirty-Four Years Ago...
“Starlight, starbright… First star I see tonight…”
Alyssa began the rhyme in her sweet, melodious voice, just like she did every night. Xander leaned against the rusty railing beside her, trying not to get a sliver of metal in his arm.Piece of crap balcony.
A part of him wanted to tell her wishes don’t come true. That the people who are supposed to love and care for you the most end up leaving. And to survive in this world, it takes a whole lot more than hopes and dreams.
Something as juvenile as wishing on stars? A complete waste of time.
But what did he know? People were quick to remind him he was just a stupid kid who should keep his mouth shut.
Besides, he didn’t want to make his little sister cry.
Together, they stared up at the dark sky, dreary and overcast, and he frowned. “I don’t know what star you’re wishing on, Lyss,” he grumbled. “All I see are clouds.”
She paused halfway through the rhyme and pointed to a specific spot. “Right there!”
Squinting, he finally spotted the celestial speck. It proved to be a special kind of challenge when you lived in downtown Chicago, surrounded by the city lights, but Alyssa had a talent for knowing right where to look.
Three floors below, a pedestrian stepped off the curb as a car turned the corner. A honk split the air and the pedestrian jumped backward. After a colorful exchange of bad words and insulting gestures, the car squealed away, and the nearly-flattened pedestrian yelled a reverberating, “Fuck you!”
Xander would like to think Alyssa was too wrapped up in pointing out the faded star to pay any attention to what was happening down below. The sad truth was they were used to the rough neighborhood and all it entailed.
“Look straight above that sign.” She lifted her hand and pointed again with more determination. “Can’t you see it?”
“Barely.” When her small shoulders deflated, guilt pricked at him. “Oh, wait, now I see it better.” He slung his arm around her. “Keep going and make your wish.”
Xander might only be eight, but he was the man of the house, and part of his job was to watch over his baby sister. Protect and care for her. Because if he didn’t do it, no one would. Their mother wasn’t around much, tending to disappear for days on end doing God only knew what.
Like tonight. Yet again it was just him and Alyssa, and their stargazing marked the end of the third day of their mom’s absence. Truth be told, he was getting anxious. Sure, he was worried about her the way a child with too much knowledge of the world worried. But more than that, this time around, their food supply was precariously low.
Alyssa finished the rhyme, then in a low voice, she added, “I wished for Mommy to come home soon.”
Yeah, he wasn’t going to hold his breath. Typically, she left for a couple of days. Her longest disappearance had lasted one week. Whenever she returned, he never knew what to expect. Sometimes she had bruises. Other times she was smiling and pulled a fistful of money out of her purse.
When Alyssa’s stomach growled, Xander straightened up.Dammit.He’d rummaged through the cupboards earlier and the only things he’d found wouldn’t fill either of them up.
“C’mon,” he murmured, turning and tugging her back into the dimly-lit apartment. Since it was a warm summer evening, he left the balcony’s sliding glass door open. Not that there was a breeze. The stagnant city air never seemed to move much, and the circulation in their small apartment was practically nonexistent.
There wasn’t much to the place. A saggy plaid couch covered in stains he tried not to think about when he slept on it every night. It also reeked of cigarettes, the odor barely covering the sour scent of spilled milk and mildew. A fringed lamp next to it provided barely a hint of light, and most nights he was afraid to turn it on because it was probably a huge fire hazard. Ugly brown shag carpeting covered the cold floors, so thick he’d lost pennies in it. The TV usually worked, but you had to play with the rabbit ears to make the picture clear. And the single bedroom was devoid of furniture save an old mattress on the floor that Lyss and his mom shared.
“Is there anything to eat?” Alyssa asked, shrugging out from under his arm and laying her small hands against her rumbling tummy.
“I’ll always find you something to eat,” he promised her. Even if it meant he went to bed hungry.
Because Lyss was only six. She couldn’t take care of herself. That was up to him. Well, technically, it should’ve been his mother’s responsibility, but she’d made it clear they couldn’trely on her. More than once, she’d told them that kids strapped a person down, and she didn’t like that. Apparently, their dad thought the same thing because they’d never even met him.
Dragging a chair over to the cupboard, Xander climbed up on it, leaned against the yellowed linoleum counter, and opened it. He hated being so short and couldn’t wait for the day when he’d grow big and strong. Then it would be so much easier to get things done and take care of Lyss.
An almost empty jar of peanut butter and an open sleeve of crackers sat on the lowest shelf. A cockroach skittered back into the darkness, and he hoped the stupid thing hadn’t been eating their only food. So gross. But he wasn’t going to mention it to Lyss, who looked up at him with big blue eyes.
“Anything?” she asked, so hopeful.
That was the thing he loved most about his little sister. No matter how crappy their situation, she always kept the faith that everything would be okay. Her smile was wide and carefree, and despite the endless days of nothing good, she possessed such a cheery outlook. The complete opposite of him.
Lyss, ever the idealist, lived up in the clouds with her treasured stars, while Xander kept his feet firmly planted on the ground. He was a realist, already adopting a very pragmatic view of the world.
